No more vanilla: how the internet killed the call girl

I started working in the sex industry in the early ’80s, at age 15, and retired in the early 2000s. During that time I have seen many changes, some good and some bad — namely changes to welfare policy, gender roles, public perceptions of sexuality and sex workers. The most glaring change has been what I refer to as client sexpectations.

I like to draw the analogy of ice cream for sexual mores. In the 1980s, clients were vanilla in their requests and expectations. Occasionally they would want a few toppings, here and there, perhaps some nuts or sprinkles, maybe hot fudge to tickle the taste buds. But in general most gentlemen preferred the standard flavours: caramel, strawberry or vanilla.

From the late ’90s on, pornography became a free click away. LubeTube is free and available 24/7, a veritable Baskins and Robins of sexual availability. It was not just the access that changed during my working life but the content itself dramatically altered.

Vanilla had become a foreign flavour. In the same vein, why would I go out for ice cream when I have a freezer full of the stuff? It used to be that clients sought sex workers for what they couldn’t get at home, or couldn’t be bothered chasing.

Porn no longer has a loose story seductive story attached — pool boy seduced by hot house wife or delivery men assisting a frustrated lonely house-sitter — now it is just straight up hardcore. Videos that commence upon penetration and only last seven minutes. Apparently seduction is passé. Eroticism has been exchanged for sexual aggression, evident in the language as well as the lack of scenario.

Over the years I saw this first-hand, the changing proclivities of the young buck. In the ’80s he was out to please himself, come the ’90s he was desperate to please me and by the 2000s, if he visited at all, he was determined to dominate with a firm hand.

Modern porn feeds a totally unrealistic idea of what women enjoy sexually. As I say in my book: It is $10 extra for lessons, young man. Because the amount of young men who came in wanting to replicate the latest movie they saw drove me insane. They truly believe that there should be no difference from porn stars to the girls they meet locally, all women are the same with their clothes off.

Normal has shifted, as it did years ago thanks to Kinsey, but I will argue that we have shifted from vanilla desires towards a much darker flavour. Dare I say 50 Shades darker?

The internet killed the sex worker. The 2012 reality is that they don’t need to learn from your local sex worker or older woman the ABCs of sex. All that’s needed is to type their chosen peccadillo into a dating website search engine and find a sexual partner who will fit their momentary desires. Gone are the days of phoning twenty sex workers to see who offers this service and at what exorbitant rate she will charge. Or even worse still, having to wear a condom and dental dam.

Erotic fiction is currently the highest selling genre, but it used to be Mills & Boon. Now it has to be beatings, bondage and sex toys to grab the reader. The storyline is irrelevant or implausible (20-year-old virgin, super good looking billionaire).

As a former sex worker, if Christian Grey had walked into my establishment I would tell him to take his misogynistic routine elsewhere. That 50 Shades of Grey is such a good seller is not an indication that the modern woman craves a good beating and a dominant man. If Grey was a part-time brick layer living in the western suburbs, with an ex-wife and two children, would you still date him? Would the book be as popular?

It used to be that anonymous sex would cost you. Someone once said: “you don’t pay a sex worker for sex, you pay her to leave straight afterwards.”

In the second decade of the 21st century anonymous sex has become abundant. Thousands of websites and apps are available for free. There seems to be no end to the number of sites beckoning horny punters with the promise of casual sexual encounters with like-minded people. These sites offer what no sex worker can offer: mutual arousal.

Clients who visit a sex worker are under no delusion that their desire is mirrored. But when they click on “horny housewife seeks anonymous sex”, there is a sense the service is equally appreciated and needed. The rendezvous suits all parties, it’s a symbiotic relationship.

In the past the client/sex worker relationship was also symbiotic, he needed sex and I needed cash, no ego stroking, just physical relief. But in this brave new world there is a rush obtained in the knowledge that cash is no longer required.

This anonymous vixen is just like me, she too wants sex without entanglement. This is in stark contrast to the reality that the mattress actress craves my cash and not my masterful, horizontal calisthenics.

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Categories: People & Ideas

17 Responses

Comments page: 1 |
  1. Terrific article; relevant content, originally put and with a dash of humour. Cheers.

    by Lewis T on Nov 13, 2012 at 2:28 pm

  2. In any career, it’s important to keep skills and training up to date. New techniques and technology are essential in the drive for increased productivity. The white paper is clear: we cannot afford to have Australian s-x workers left behind in the Asian century.

    by Bretty on Nov 13, 2012 at 5:13 pm

  3. But in this case, the s-x workers are competing against cheap labour that can be had in abundance. Kind of hard to compete with free in some industries.

    by Justin McManus on Nov 13, 2012 at 7:31 pm

  4. So, you had an old business model that couldn’t keep up with a changing market?

    2000s, if he visited at all, he was determined to dominate with a firm hand.

    Modern porn feeds a totally unrealistic idea of what women enjoy sexually

    What a pity, you should have gotten paid for doing that horrible work.

    by Gerry Hatrick, OAP on Nov 13, 2012 at 7:37 pm

  5. I hope that you enjoy your retirement.

    by AR on Nov 13, 2012 at 7:59 pm

  6. Vanilla, with real vanilla pod seeds?

    by Mike Smith on Nov 14, 2012 at 12:30 pm

  7. So, what was the point of this article? Oh, that’s right, all men are deluded, violent sex fiends.

    I hoped that this might provide some insight into a world not many of us have a clue about, but sadly, it was shite instead.

    by TheFamousEccles on Nov 14, 2012 at 1:36 pm

  8. Wonder if there really are any reliable stats on this supposed decline in the industry. I personally find it hard to believe that dating websites are a major substitute for demand for prostitution services.

    by Phen on Nov 14, 2012 at 5:27 pm

  9. Lot of empathy from the commentators not, some very whitebread. As I read it the author was talking about her clients not all men, not many comments from women?

    by floorer on Nov 14, 2012 at 8:52 pm

  10. Floorer-you have completely missed Honest John’s point and you probably did that on purpose, as usual.

    His/Her point is the hypocracy of Cr-key posters who played down the hom-s-xual nature of the Cath-l-c ch-rch priests assaults on the vulnerable and powerless chil-dren, mostly who were b-ys and not gir-ls. He mentioned 98% were boys. They were trying to lead the witnes-ses to cover their own supportive and pro agenda. Many are disappointed because of the dishonesty.

    by Black Spot on Nov 14, 2012 at 11:12 pm

  11. Actually Black Spot I ignored HJ ‘cause I thought he was off topic. I watch porn when I want to and I thought Annika Cleeve was on the money.

    by floorer on Nov 14, 2012 at 11:38 pm

  12. There you go again.

    by Black Spot on Nov 14, 2012 at 11:52 pm

  13. I guess so.

    by floorer on Nov 15, 2012 at 12:07 am

  14. Sadly, many men are visiting imported girls who have no idea of their rights and will perorm risky acts just to stay in the country. Some very sad stories in the paper over here in recent years.

    by JimDocker on Nov 15, 2012 at 10:13 pm

  15. Oh Black spot, floorer is right, it was completely off topic, go over to the paedophilia story, idiot.

    Good luck to you Annika, I’m an occasional watcher of porn and find myself a little or a lot disgusted by most of it. I’d love to find something a little more old fashioned, god forbid, something that I could share with a partner even, but I don’t have 10 hours to go through a billion porn sites looking for it.

    I thought I would look on the site assuming that no man would be game to comment, instead I find a smattering of d — -heads.

    Jaysus wept.

    For what it’s worth Annika, most of those sex pick-up sites have very few willing females, and huge numbers of gullible men.

    Or so I’ve been led to believe. Oops

    by Dogs breakfast on Nov 15, 2012 at 10:23 pm

  16. Dogs breakfast - your name says it all, you scatterbrain. Since when does n’t a square peg fit a round hole on these discussion boards? Again, such dishonesty. Oh, and very boring.

    by Honest John on Nov 16, 2012 at 11:37 am

  17. Ok, Dogs breakfast. If you are serious then, can I take this issue over to the “appropriate” discussion site and will you guarantee me you will discuss the said issue openly and honestly?

    With baited breath I await your answer.

    by Black Spot on Nov 16, 2012 at 12:30 pm

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