Racism is the new black!
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89 Comments
The hotspots look like carbuncles.
The Specials gave good advice -
“So if you are a racist
Our friendship has got to end
And if your friends are racists don’t pretend to be my friend
So if you have a racist friend
Now is the time, now is the time for our friendship to end
GOODBYE”
Bloody genius FD.
Now if you can just find 2 million subscribers….You can join Eric Beecher rolling around on that pile of our money.
Great
I’m not racist, I just don’t like anyone who doesn’t look or behave the way I think they should. So, let me bore you with my petty prejudices and unfounded fears… .
A friend of mine says only 3% of the Oz population is worth knowing but I reckon it’s closer to 1%. Does that make me racist?
I’m not sure I get it. It doesn’t seem to be witty, cynical or pithy… it just doesn’t do it for me … pity, normally FD is on the money….
I noticed you left Taswegia out of your survey. Too cold and windy to get racist, or do they have enough familial problems defining who is who?
I recently saw on the ABCs Best of Collectors a story of a collection of golliwogs … and next day observed a beautifully knitted golliwog for sale in a box of toys on the pavement outside the Salvos op shop. It is self evident a rare Australian collector favours golliwogs and the Salvation Army values one highly.
There. I’m done.
So, if you’re a self-hater of whatever background, does that make you racist?
Looks like the r-word triggers moderation. If only it were so in the real world.
Racism is not a natural genetic trait, it is learnt or acquired.
I wonder who is teaching us? According to the survey they must be doing a fabulous job.
Now if only we could get them to concentrate on teaching maths, science and Australian history, who knows what out nation could become.
I’m not racist, I just fear everybody (sometimes even me).
Zut, no, the 1% you identify with includes Dizzy Gillespie and probably Maynard G Krebs. So, I would say that you’re a cool jazzist more so than a racist.
It’s not inconceivable that you also identify with Man Ray - and so only then could one call you a Raycist Dada.
Idyot - I think you’ve pushed a retro kind of racist barrow well and truly across the hilarious line. I have to say I admire a person who will go the extra ten yards for the sake of a homophonic joke…. well done !
In the spirit of the new entrepreneurial spirit that’s taken over the Crikey bunker in recent days…..
When I first saw *towelheads, I instantly thought….. tea-towels.
P.S.
I trust I win a freebie for this brilliant idea.
Paddy I’ve had a similar conversation over Christmas dinner with my brother. Who could hate tea-towel heads?
I’m a racist of sorts, I am particularly am racist toward anyone who is a combination of dutch/southafrican/victorian/southbankian. T/he/y just don’t assimilate well!.
And I note that ACT residents are 98% less raci$t than the rest of Oz. Hmm.
Just to balance that, I give you
www youtube.com/watch?v=kpPaBwZoQkg
I’m not racist because I vote Labor/Greens (delete as appropriate)
I wonder if Mr Rabbit and Bob the Dog are doing quiz the gumment about the cost of sending aid to the ram fanciers? Just by way of ensuring that in the interest of responsible gumment they hate everybody equally.
LOL
HB That’s a brilliant idea too!!
Buy one tea-towel and get a free Firstdog headgear (pat pending) free.
Yep Paddy, ‘Greetings from Cooma ’ would stop any racists in their tracks, printed on a hijab.
Has Crikey been off the radar for anyone else but me?
I’m not a racist BUT, I had to laugh out loud at one part of the electorate who were anti-British.
Oh no!
“”Has Crikey been off the radar for anyone else but me?
I’m not a r.a.c.ist BUT, I had to laugh out loud at one part of the electorate who were anti-British.
Oh no!
EDITOR: If you are going to hold up every comment that has in it the word ray.cis.te
you will never get through your comments.
EMC: He.ll.o.
I’m not a ray.cist; BUT, I am a little afraid of God-botherers, dingo killers, The Liberal Party, freshly picked jonquils and ingrown toenails.
Should I hang my head with shame?
:horror: :dismay: 
Venise, sorry to hear about the toenails. There has to be a named phobia for that.
One of the girls at the pub had her big ones removed because they were too painful. Hardly ever see her in open sandals and such footwear - and the stormtrooper boots are a bit of a giveaway at the beach.
I dunno how anyone can pick jonquils - the nasally-challenged, perhaps ?
Venise: it seems ‘dog-botherers’ would cover many of your fears.
I’m surprised ‘Liberal Party’ got through moderation when, for a section of the party, it’s just a euphemism for …
@Mike, the mental picture painted of one of the girls having her big ones removed has caused me emotional trauma….
MIKE J: What a terrible story. Poor girl! This condition is one infirmity I’ve been spared.
Did she have trouble finding the right size Gobi Galosh? 
sigh.
EMC: Quite!
I hate whoever it is in the office who doesn’t refill the A4 tray in the printer after they’ve printed a 200-page document and leaves just a square of toilet paper on the roll. It’s so un-Australian!!!
Not Black; Green.
Everybody is green .
Now all you dark green yobbos get down the back of the bus and behave. K
Yet another example of “all Scottish cows are black” logic.
Survey result: “84.4% of people believe there is racism in Australia”
Adorable, yet sneering, dog-based cartoonist says: “Australia is racist.”
More Factually Accurate Than Most News media says: “84.4 percent of Australians believe Australia is racist”
Philosopher says: “84.4 percent of people surveyed, many of whom were in all likelihood Australian, believe that at least one person in Australia is racist”
I say: “WTF! You mean 15.6 percent of people surveyed believe there is not a single racist in Australia?”
Although I adore the title, an equally adorable title would have been: “Australian ray.sists, the new black cows.”
Sorry Andrew and Buzz. It’s rough out here in cyberia.
I have read this four times now, and I still can’t understand what all the fuss is about.
Those researchers didn’t ask me anything the whole 10 years. That’s discrimination.
EMC, MIKE J, BUZZ, ZUT, SHOE, INNOCENT, PADDY, HOLDEN B, ANDREW: As a minor protest about the racism which exists in Oz, and the venomous scribes who encourage it. Andrew Bolt, Piers Ackerman, Phizzgig Sheridan, the phoney fat guy at the big OZ, assorted journos with liver problems caused by hatred, and booze, I thought to add my tiny protest and paint my nails bright green. Would such an action make my point?
I await, breathlessly, your considered opinions.
Venise: The effectiveness of your protest will depend on where you hammer the bright green nails.
Venise,
It’s a tad too subtle. How about if you painted the aforementioned august journos bright green instead?
Venise: The colour of your toenails would have no effect on the efficacy of of a well-deserved kick up the ar*e for each of those commentators.
Lining them all up in Fed Square and delivering the kicks in sequence might.
Arranging an outddor screening of The Boy with Green Hair at the same time would be a coup.
HOLDEN B: I am talking fingernails, and if I ever get the chance to kick one, or all, of them in the goolies I’ll do it in a flash.
ZUT: How many bottles of nail polish would that take @ $4 a bottle??? Mmmm, an expensive, but nice, thought.
EMC: Oooo er…the Bolter’s bolt perhaps?
Venise: The green nail polish is a nice touch. Who you scratch with them is the real prostest in action (or is it whom?)
Venise: Bright green is a nice cheerful colour that matches your gravatar. I say go for it.
Once you’ve fixed all the racism in Australia, we’ll need to close the borders so that no more racists can get in. For that, I propose bright purple.
AAAAaaaaargh! Got me again.
Venise are you telling me you don’t match polish to toe- and finger-nails? Colour me shocked.
Holden, how come you know all these secret girlie rules ? I mean, is it that you wear a baklava for remarkably good raisins.
If the raisins are good enough, I’d wear a tutu to eat them.
MODERATOR: WTF is going on?
Got it…”“Venise Alstergren
Posted Thursday, 24 February 2011 at 3:25 pm | Permalink
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
— — — — -
ANDREW: You’ll know by the green scratch marks.
INNOCENT: You don’t think I should save the bright purple for all those elderly gentlemen who paint purple veins on their noses?
What about a bright pink to match the irate faces of the ray.cist trogs?
KERSEBLEPTES: One of the more revolting puns this year. Go to tomorrow’s First Dog. It’s a case of puns at thirty paces, and may the best man wince.
””
@VENISE: Sorry to be late in today. Was t’other end of town at hardware store. Got talking.
I ‘fess, Venise, I can’t get past imagining you in the shed with the bottles of nails (and hammers and things us girls keep in our sheds).
What efficacy painting nails green will have… I wonder. I’m certainly not agin green.
I don’t discriminate. I’m racist to everyone.
HOLDEN B: For some strange reason I’ve never painted my toe nails. Perhaps because I spent a few years hoping to be a dancer. This entailed blisters from pointe
shoes, blood getting into the shoes and generous quantities of turps (externally applied) to harden ones feet. I think viewing feet from a dancer’s perspective detracts from the possible glamour of using nail enamel on the toes.
‘SHOE: It’s nice during the day but tends to lose vibrancy at night. I’m talking a pastel green, not the dark, ground-up fish-scale green… I can’t think of the word. Iridescent. That’s it.
MJ- Some of my best friends are women. No, really.
@ Venise: I can but offer a few tips. Tish boom. :grin.
“I’m not sure I get it. It doesn’t seem to be witty, cynical or pithy… it just doesn’t do it for me … pity, normally FD is on the money….”
Agreed.
Test
(I thought the waddicalls were not working. I must have missed a dash or bracket in my first post).
We could have Green Nailpolish Day. FD could do his four sets of toenails.
Venise: you can get a fluoro light green now. Sorta the colour of vomit after ingesting psychedelic substances.
‘SHOE: About your pun……gerrr, snarl; I compromised. And the result is terrific. Three digits on each hand are painted a lovely bright pastel blue. These are alternated with the equally lovely bright pastel green ‘tips’.
Thumb and index finger and ring finger are blue; the main finger plus the little finger are painted green. (I love these colour together). The symbolism of the blue nails is a call to erase the bits we don’t like from the past. The monachy, the plethora of athletes being supported with taxpayers money, only to come sixteenth in the over all gradings at the next Olympics. The promoting of Anzac day as the main cultural Oz day.
We send our soldiers overseas to fight in America’s wars; in turn, allowing for the slaughter of our soldiers, and as a bi-product the indiscriminate murder of civilians- women and and their children.
Because America wants access to huge reserves of mineral wealth; she props up vile dictators, and does, in fact, force Australians to be treasonous to our own ethics. It is almost impossible to imagine Oz soldiers creating a My Lai (Vietnam War).
Sorry about the rant…
@Venise sadly our venerated ANZAC day (and that meaningless January 26th thingy) are now hijacked as bogans wrapped in flag days
ANDREW: Tell me about it. Gallipoli becomes a place to shag, booze, snort a line or six, and aspires to be the world’s biggest rubbish dump. Hell of a way to remember the dead.
“…And the young people ask: “What are they marching for?”…”
I don’t mind the old ones getting together and remembering the past. That’s their gig. But I do mind the tourist trolls getting together at Gallipoli, getting absolutely pissed and or stoned, rubbishing the place, having a complete f#uc@kathon, while pretending to be the heirs to a legend that was all England’s war in the first place.
Gotta go.
This is the stupidest set of posts I have ever seen and I can’t believe I wasted my time reading most of them.
@Han: I’d wonder about the sense of someone expecting profound responses to what is, after all, a cartoon. I might aim at being serious on the other columns (sometimes) but here it’s just fun.
HANASHI when I first encountered FDOTM I had no clue until I figured (or it was explained) that it means First Dog On The Moon.
FD-as he/she/it is affectionately referred to, has a ‘fan club’. I once asked about that. Folk get silly on FD threads. They just do. It gets puzzling.
However, its the fan club and it ain’t no crime.
I didn’t like this. I didn’t find it funny. It ridicules attempts to suggest that Australians are r.acist (even the automod throws a hissy if you don’t put the dot in).
I have yet to stumble through a country that is not r.acist. Australia is hyper sensitive about being called r.acist though.
So? Make a joke. (And this guy? is bliddy good at illustration). Put a clown hat on anyone who even suggests that Australia is……..well, you know.
Having been on the ar.se end of…well you know, I just don’t find it funny to ridicule those who are suggest that ….well you know occurs in Australia.
…………………………and spare me the BS that it was ‘just a joke’. That defence has been flogged to fecking death.
@Elan: Ok, raćism[1] isn’t a joke. But Aussies have(had) a tradition of laughing at themselves. Are we sensitive about being called raćist? Possibly the more raćist amongst us are.
[1] look, no dot.
Meski,
‘We’ were not laughing at ‘ourselves’. ‘We’ were laughing at a study that suggests that Australia is [1]r/////acist. And it didn’t take ten minutes/people-it made a lengthy study, which also warrants mirth. (Has this study occurred over say a year with say 6/7/8/…hundred people it would have been ridiculed for that!)
[1] look, no dot.
HAN: Didn’t you know there’s a great big worrying world out there? I bash the political comments along with the worst of them. But the one thing that makes my day gold is FD’s ‘toons. Together with as witty a bunch of half-wits you’ll ever meet.
You gotta have FUN HUN…..oopps HAN.
Hanashi, I think many Australians are racist, but taking the piss out of how some like to pretend they aren’t serves its purpose.
As for why you felt the need to read all the comments …
You are a popular lad HANASHI !!
“….but taking the piss out of how some like to pretend they aren’t serves its purpose.”
Oops! Silly ditzy me. I misunderstood…..
@ELAN: I wondered where you have been. I wondered if your meals are still being delivered. I wondered if the urge to eat an enormous trifle singlehandly has overcome you, nay fall into it face first as had been suggested by EMC (memory) of one gastronomic delight we discussed. Anyways, you’re back.
Then you disappear again for some days? Are you busy?
(Newcomers, you must homework! It is helpful to read back through First Dog Onthemoon’s cartoons and a real lot of comments to make some head and tail.)
Oh SANDSHOE ! Youse a breaf of fresh air kid!
41 emails awaited my attention this morn. 34 on climate change…no it isn’t, yes it is,…no it isn’t, yes it is,…..NO it isn’t, YES it is,……….NO it bloody well isn’t!, YES it bloody well is!………………….NO IT BLOODY WELL ISN’T YOU B.ASTARD!!,….YES IT BLOODY WELL IS, YOU SPAWN OF SATAN!!…………………………
And 1 Crikey notification email shone like a beacon of hope in the wilderness of climate change….or…OR, the lack thereof (phew!) ….twas tellin me youse put up a post!!
__________________________
I have been very busy taking on an issue at a local level. It has been mind numbing and utterly draining. Bureaucracy is a Hydra. A HYDRA. Cut one head off………
Still….in each life a little rain must fall (please don’t say that to a Queenslander).
So? when not hither, I am thither. When not thither, I am hither. Just like the rest of us!
As to meals and trifle? How does a 9.4 cholesterol level grab you? 9.4 !! Blood like treacle. And it was NOT because of trifle and the like. They don’t know why. I’ve refused Statins.
I cannot even look in the direction of anything that has more than one grain of sugar-and the merest trace of fat. Tra la!
All I hope for is to catapult off my mortal coil, rather than the humiliating ‘dropping of the perch’. One has standards, even in death.
Thereyergo! well off topic,-but I’m feeling defiant, so what the hell!!!!
@Elan: Yes, that’s fairly representative of Climate Change arguments after one or two responses.
Statins work, it’s a pity about their side-effects. (with some ppl) How do non-statin anticholesterols go with you?
Given that this topic is now on a back burner, I’ll continue this as an off topic because it raises an important issue.
Hi Meski,
There was something on the news only about a fortnight ago where Doctor’s were advised not to prescribe Statins for Cholesterol! It was considered to be ‘overkill’. Apparently Statins are not for Cholesterol, it was found that they were very effective for that, and so they took off as the way to deal with same, ………with the enthusiastic endorsement/encouragement of the megaPharm’s.
The medical principle of ‘For the Common Good’ has become corrupted by the influence of the megaPharm’s. One in particular has made billions from Statins. It is their cash cow…
Statins are known to have strong side effects. The medical profession know this. It took little research to come up with some damning facts. In the US there was a lawsuit,-and there are groups warning against Statins with some appalling case histories. Many medical professionals are in agreement.
If you are taking a Statins with little or no side effects-continue it under medical supervision-don’t be put of by this if it works for you.
My Doc knew I would not take a Statin. He ordered more tests-then the surgery contacted me to go back to the surgery pronto!-they had the results.
He advised me to take Krill Oil. I then did my research! Krill Oil (from a sustainable source-there’s another argument there!), is waaay ahead of all other fish oils. There is growing evidence that it will lower Cholesterol.
The primary one currently is OmegaGen Cardio. All Krill Oil is about 3 times the price of Fish Oil, but worth the price?*
* I note on the bottle that OGC say that it is not (not ‘not effective’), for high level Cholestrol…….
However, we are currently giving it a three month trial. 2 per day for three months-1 per day thereafter.
I am coming to the end of my three month trial. I am to be retested at the end of this month. If my C is down even 1% I’ll consider it a success, and continue on 2 per day for the foreseeable.
I have not had a KFC in many years, likewise pizza/hamburger. It has made not one damn bit of difference! Today I am going to risk a piece of chocolate cake (sod it all! just the one piece in three months!).
I find it absurd to see food that is not a lettuce leaf as toxic! (And I’m between a rock/hard place: surgery and some now removed bits of important plumbing mean I cannot eat salad and many other foods, partic vegetables and nuts..).
So. I’m hoping for even a small result from KO. I will not under any circumstances take a Statin.
I watch and wait.
WOW! Ask a question and get a response and relevant to the everyday issues besetting us - usually lifestyle related - and catching us up in our society, increasingly across the cultural divides!
Thank you Elan for the post regards statins. I note Meski has enquired about non-statin anticholesterols for your use? I do not myself know anything about those.
I too have refused the use of anti-cholesterols and am battling by eliminating foods thought to cause the build up of cholesterol, but basically striving to keep moving more however sometimes slowed as result of a dicky back. When I am at home watching a movie I stop it quite frequently to walk into the kitchen for a glass of water instead of carting a water bottle with me, if I think I will leave it until I walk out the door to take an item out for the garbage I am mentally training myself to change my attitude to carry it out when I think of it and however small the item. If I don’t want to fold up clothes, if I have the time I order myself to do it so as to add movement however seemingly pointless.
I live around the corner from the supermarket, where I buy little as there is next to nothing to buy in a supermarket that is unadulterated or a blatant attempt at highway robbery…however if its raining, to put in some walking time I amble between showers to it so I can amble, walk etcetera the aisles for an hour or so and all of it is adding up that I am certainly bringing my weight down…it appears my cholesterol.
Inpressive cholesterol reading yours, Elan. That must surely be a scientific curiosity.
Google non-statin anticholesterol drugs. There’s fenofibrate, which I recall a relative being on for a trial. (being double-blind test, I don’t know if it was the real thing, or the control group.)
@ELAN, I add… I thank you for your kind response to my having written a post and its timing specifically to you…and yes, I interpreted what you had to say between its lines.
I am genuinely interested in your view.
My own response, did I not agree with something commented (or illustrated in a cartoon even) would be to seek to create a pun, let it roll, bide my time ‘til another chance came along to have a (friendly) swing … that has not always been my style, but then I was not in the Dogonaut’s Lounge and not possessed with a passion of ambition to establish myself as a Dogonaut and that I admire First Dog for what he has achieved. I do love it that in this place I have established a standing of a sort, sometimes a quip I make will cause a Dogonaut to comment, or even all, sometimes I know I have been funny or appropriately sarky but that nobody has said because they or we get engaged in yet another ludicrous or genuinely impassioned discussion another dogonaut has advanced and so be it… the fun I experience being a Dogonaut is in looking for the positive opportunities to engage with people whose characters are replete with evidence of their life spirit. My funny bone is tickled oftimes. The Lounge as we call the forum is for me a place of a meeting of people who choose to meet thus, no more and no less.
I myself love, adore, revere the Dogonauts generally as individuals and a bunch. I recount to friends verbal descriptions of jokes and some of my friends who have not been online and not seen the cartoon know most of my Dogonaut friends by name. For me, this alone is its own breath of fresh air that I am enthused and able to imbue into my accounts the spirit that lounges in my perception herein.
Come visit more frequently Elan. Don’t be a stranger. And thank you again for your kind expression of warmth for old Sandshoe.
@MESKI: Thank you for the information!
‘SHOE: Anyone ever tell you what a lovely human being you are? They should.
Agreed Venise.
Not well. Back tomorrow.
ELAN: Look after yourself.
“There’s fenofibrate,…”
Had a squizz Meski. This fella is a heavyweight too. It is considered to perform at its best combined with a Statin, and vice versa.
I have little faith in powerful drugs, and more so what drives Doctor’s to prescribe them so readily. (Though I acknowledge the good many of these have done in modern medicine, I’m cautious because todays medical care is largely market/economy driven), ….and an anaphylaxic reaction to a drug,- and vastly more important,-the lack of back up care when things went so badly wrong- several years ago has made me VERY wary of such drugs.
I don’t fear things ending badly for me,-only that I could end up still here and incapacitated. That frightens me, but not enough to shove some of this ‘it’ll cure this, but destroy that’ medicine down my gullet.
_______________________
Thank-you VENISE.
Many thanks SHOES! I am around….,I was wondering where you were!
I acknowledge these interesting comments immediately above and thank you both kindly again.
Certainly not often recently, Venise … I come from a few rounds fuelled by feelings of pure resentment about the behaviour of the status quo
Very slightly different subject. I think o, too, how easily those who once were radicals I knew are no longer intellectual warriors.
‘Shoe.
Venise, I met ‘Shoe at Firsty’s book launch late last year.
She definitely IS a lovely woman.
What a nice, close-knit group of friends. It’s very touching to know not everyone on earth is a b4st4rd.
(Bad day, you might have guessed. This is my fave place to go after a bad day)
It’s funny you should say that! I was thinking along the same lines after MIKE wrote his post.
It isn’t all sweetness and light as you clearly know, and it isn’t that way on Crikey-which gives the grey cells a regular workout!
However, it is a breath of much needed fresh air to see some ‘nice’ stuff as evidenced here!
So agreed;- thanks for the comment!
(Hope you have a better day tomorrow!!)
IAMTHEPIGUY - drop in and be amongst friends at the Pig’s Arms. Google us .
Cheers.
Hi, IAMTHEPIGUY, if you’re ‘round … like your moniker.
A lot of us here are truly, close, online friends.
And friends (just thinking) by contrast to bastardry… it would require a massive leap of imagination for me to regard myself on a personal level in the context of sweetness and light, but the Lounge has elements of theatre I enjoy.
It is impossible for participants in this Dogonaut’s Lounge to be invisible regards who each ‘is’ such is the nature of written expression and on the other hand, all is disguise … the social face presented in a way that is engaging because nobody has to do the literal heavy lifting and, honestly, when someone comes along rarely who steps into the Lounge and utters vulgarity at any one Dogonaut or commenters in general, I am as amazed as anybody would be were their hospitality abused. I find it an easy leap of imaginative fantasy to regard this a special place to hang out together and I wouldn’t put my feet up on the chairs or mess on the rug.
@Mike Jones: Firsty’s book launch you refer to … that reference being to First Dog Onthemoon’s Christmas Story … I loved that launch and the small amount of money it cost to stay over the road from the Trades Hall in the backpackers (mixed gender rooms … cool fun) and as well to catch the cheap early flight to Melbourne from Adelaide return (you keep saying that about me, Mike…honestly!
)
About time the Onthemoons throw another party soon tho’ like the one Firsty drew pre-Xmas, reckoned they invited select online guests and quite the number of us remain wondering … who was that?
He’s a funny dog.