Have you seen my Wheelie Bin?
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53 Comments
The solution is to use a BIG BLACK MARKER PEN to write your street number on the lid and side of the bin. I also suffered from a bin napping, where I was fortunate enough to be able to spot mine in a neighbors yard, as it had tell tale black paint on the lid from school project I did with my kids earlier that week. But I wonder, when someone steals your bin, is it because someone already stole theirs? And is that because someone else stole theirs? Where does this all start or finish? It makes my head hurt. Time for a lie down…
@ John Donovan, you know where it ends: Robbing Peter of his bin because someone else nicked Paul’s: and he’s got yours, with or without a cat in it.
Jeepers, things are really falling apart over there at Labradoodle Acres, First Dog. No bathroom, no wheelie bin…
A tip in case you need a JP again (let’s hope not): contact your local member of parliament (state &/or federal) as they sometimes have an employee in the electorate office who is a registered JP. Unlike the pharmacy, at the electorate offices they don’t give you a hard time because they are obsequiously courting your vote. These days every single vote counts!
JD is on the right track FD.
But rather than a boring old black marker pen, you’ll need to put a full colour, life-size picture of Julie Bishop on the bin.
That infamous deathstare, is guaranteed to keep bin thieves at bay.
Yes Paddy, but how do you know that it is Your Julie Bishop? There are about 7 of them in my street already, and very hard to tell apart…
My condolences FD. The pain of separation must almost be as bad as when I find that someone has put their dirty rubbish in MY bin!
I think you can tell a lot about a person from the condition of their wheelie bins. I have nice neat number stickers securely stuck on my bins - all nicely centered and levelled. And I wash them regularly. Am I a bit obsessive or do other people also wash their recycle packaging before putting it in the bin?
My local pharmacist is always very obliging in this regard but then again I spend in excess of $1000/yr at his pharmacy so he considers me to be a good customer. Perhaps if you popped in a bit in late summer when the Ombre Solare is on special and also pick up some cream for your piles like I do you wouldn’t have these problems. You’d also find your piles would clear up and you wouldn’t get sunburnt either so win-win.
True story, wheelie it is.
Hmmm stolen wheelie bin…. Peter Garrett again! This time he MUST resign.
I wash my recyclables first.
First Dog, you know you’re now on ‘The List’, don’t you.
Every council has ‘A List’ of loony complainers who once had a perfectly legitimate problem that deteriorated into trench warfare.
New inductees are warned about you, and an amber light flashes on the switchboard when you’re number is detected.
The chemist has a picture of you behind the counter next to the security button.
Mothers in the street will grab their children’s hands and steer them away from you.
You will start to hoard your rubbish in the laundry, then the spare room, then the dining room and lounge, then the back yard until it is overflowing onto the street. The council will ask you to remove it.
Today Tonight and ACA will compete to feature you in ‘Neighbours From Hell’ segments.
Then you’re bin will mysteriously reappear.
And you’ll wonder what all the fuss was about.
Good Grief ! What is it with the Dogonauts today !
Question: What day is tomorrow ? Answer : First Day of Spring.
It’s f*cking mating season for wheelie bins. FD, go down to the local park. You’ll find it lying on its side with a rather satisfied look on its lid.
And curious scuff marks on its side.
Just don’t ask. Probably a good time to give it a bath.
I’ve customised mine with to large nickel plated blots at the hinges. A bit frankestein maybe but I like it.
Happened to me once … my bin went and I rang Council and a replacement bin was not delivered for weeks, FD. They are like odd socks.
I mention though I feel it on the inside that my names include the technique of discarding stuff in one of these … when I was a small child that special abbreviation that makes my pet name the same as the noun of this same missing claptraption was cried out loud in affectionate terms across crowded places like swimming pools and tennis courts and on my way to exams, then, the full moniker the length of the verandah, “Good luck, Binning!”. Dad was raucous. My mother as well taught the budgerigar so it greeted me thus when I walked up the steps home from school, “Bin’s home from school. Hello, Binning.”
I do wash recycle packaging before putting it in the bin. Buzz.
@Mike Jones: of course! that’s it!
http://image74.webshots.com/74/8/70/88/2685870880048266056KjUGAg_ph.jpg
‘shou, Buzz and JM, it’s good manners to wash your recycling glass (maybe not so good with paper). But you DO need to start worrying and go back on the medication when you find yourself drying recyclables and ironing them as well.
EMC: that was what happened although not the stalker shows and crews.
MIKE JONES: I understand his take on where the bin is now I am reminded that tomorrow is the first day of Spring, Spring is sprung and the bin lid.
Hahahahahaha. Ironing the rcyclables. Ironing. Beautiful. Hahahahahahahaha. Back n the meds. Hahahahahahaha. Off the Constitution. Hahahahahaha. Democracy. Hahahhaha. Green Bin.
My wheelie bin was stolen yesterday.
There’s a rash of wheelie bin thieves going around apparently.
This suburb is like Fort Knox - no looking over 10 foot high fences in Paddo.
Woollahra Council is up itself and charges $77 for a new one.
It came home at 6.30 pm.
Just as well - I was going to paint ‘STOLEN FROM etc’ on it.
“Eggs for breakfast, Bin?” that my dad bellowed in the morning from the kitchen to be heard in my bedroom got muddled in the little green and yellow budgerigar’s thinking and regardless incidental, despite not a dedicated lesson delivered by his coach, my mother, it was a tiny Aussie budgerigar hungry for new words… he adapted the long sentence she was patiently teaching him, that was “Don-ald’s doing eco-nom-ics at the un-i-vers-i-ty”.
What followed was a great disappointment to my mother’s dream of international fame on the strength of the talking budgie.
The bird suddenly puffed his chest out in appearance of excitement at achievement and screeched, regardless begining sotto voce as did my mother with her original sentence.
“Donald’s doing EC-ICS FOR BREAKFAST, BIN”.
His voice rose in a crescendo on EC-ICS and cracked triumphantly like a cracking egg as he moved into the intonations of the second part of his conjoined sentence … his chest was so puffed pitching at the volume of the boom of my scottish father’s baritone voice in his early morning routine, the budgerigar almost fell off his perch. Funniest and most curious thing I likely have ever seen and heard … except the poor little bird was so obviously disappointed he did not get it right. Regardless he never listened again to the original sentence. As soon as the first word was introduced to him he hollered his version spontaneously and with the same resultant crack! at the high point and rapid modulation into a baritone.
Little feathers used to occasionally stick out at raucous angles so big was the production. :smile”
Oh where, oh where has your wheelie bin gone,
Oh where oh where can it be?
I hope it comes ba-ack to where it belongs.
Oh where is that green absentee?
Mike Jones: “f*cking mating season” Isn’t that a tautology?
Buzz: I rinse the plastic milk containers and wash anything glass.
Innocent until….. once a grammarian, always a grammarian.
And your preferred treatment of petfood or other tins ? Isn’t that pilchard loaf a b*gger to get off the tinplate ?
Buzz,
I wash everything but the paper/cardboard items. Even the empty tonic water bottles are rinsed. The salmon and tuna tins are a pain in the neck to clean … one often wonders whether anybody else bothers or if I’m the only bozo making the effort.
Mr SBH insists that they toss out dirty recycling Zut. I’m sceptical but the guilt drives me to clean most things first
Dear Mr. On The Moon,
I understand your wheelie bin has been stolen. (No, this is not a ranson note, just advice. Like ‘Dear Abbey’ only less sexual).
My neighbours steal our wheely bin approximately three times every two months. Given we only put it out weekly, this is quite a lot.
They are housing commission people who are normally lovely people as a group, but occasionally you get kleptomaniacs or people who are unable to read the address clearly stenciled on the side.
I now just go into their backyard to retreive it. At first I was nervous but now I don’t care. In fact I almost crave confrontation but if that actually happened I would probably be scared.
Anyway if you hear the garbage trucks coming past next week, run out onto the street just after they have gone and your bin will probably be there! But you will have a weeks’ worth of garbage you haven’t been able to put out. That is unfortunate.
If you get a worm farm then you can ask the channel 9 worm to move in and eat any of your biodegradable garbage and that will help.
I inadvertently kidnapped my neighbour’s green waste wheelie bin this morning. It was kinda snuggled up near my rubbish wheelie bin near the curb. I assumed it was ours. When I dragged them both back through the gate into the backyard I discovered our own bin was already there. I slunk back out and placed the neighbour’s bin back in front of his house. I hadn’t realised it was mating season. It was obviously trying to crack on to my bin.
@zut alors: it’s so nice to know we’re not the only ones making the effort! Seems we have fellow dogonauts who are equally prophylactic.
Tins! D’Oh! Of course, they are recyclable too. Hadn’t caught up with that. Check my Council website and both steel and aluminum cans can be recycled. I furthermore notice that I should not have recycled my broken drinking glass. Bother. They do request that bottles, cans and jars are rinsed out to prevent vermin.
@sandshoe - whatever it is you’re not on, can you please continue not taking it?
Our council has barcoded all our wheelies (probably microchipped them too, with data being sent back to an enormous garbage-data repository). I’ve never lost one - but then maybe the satellite control system moves them back home before I notice…
No-one’s trotted out the “where’s ya wheelie bin joke” ? Consider me amazed.
thanks stevo - no worries - and you’ve got a bit on your mind if your bin’s sending data “”“”“”“”“”shivers “”“”“”“”“” but then you’re sayin’ quietly there may be no such thing as a free wheelin’ wheelie bin. I’m saddened.
It’s up and down like a rollercoaster with FD and the politics of awe wheelie. Before I head off for some nosh let me mention about washing stuck on material off metal cans and glass like, say, Jasper’s cafe latte type material and where speech notes left out in rain in Adelaide dry rock solid in a wind the technique is think “soak” and you can buy a t-shirt off me with my inspiring slogan written across’t its frontage.
I know what you mean FD. My letterbox went missing - just like your wheelie bin. It was loved, cared for and every day lived for the postman to fulfill its needs. Then some ars*hole wrested it from its post in a beautifully manicured garden and we went to Bunnings to replace it. Yes, we’ve now got a surrogate recepticle but its just not the same. As Arnotts said - the original is the best!
I always go to the Post Office for an autograph from my friendly local neighbourhood JP.
Did your bin have your house number painted on it? Or a “(I voted) Greens in the Senate” sticker? Maybe next time
Soft drink cans, bottles and tetra-paks (including for flavoured milk etc) don’t go in the bin here. There’s a 10 cent deposit refund on them in SA. Save enough and you have rnough for a tank of petrol!
I cannot believe the commentators on matters politic pontificating about Australia from inside their Q and A or from anywhere else boxes (I have heard this gumph on radio too) by this reference that it really in their view doesn’t matter (was it the Press Club yesterday!) to Australians that there is no resolution and no governance to speak of or who gets in because, in his or her opinion, Australians frankly are having a good time watching all this going on really it is not an issue… is this too much to drink on the job of beng in the media spotlight or not enough to drink on the job of the task I am engaged in where I work at home … did I mishear this drivel and it was not drivel at all my mistake ergo I need to give it up for Australia’s social and political whizzbang mob…I think they’re too flash for me…goin’ back home soon as I get a chance o that’s right I am home.
All right Mesk, let’s have the wheelie bin joke ! Quick smart now you’ve done a teaser.
Innocent, I don’t get why it’s not OK to recycle a broken drinking glass. The first thing that the recyclers do after separating out the glass from the other stuff is to crush it and then sort it into clear versus brown or green etc using smart optical computer robot things.
Maybe the broken glass ban is to protect the delicate pinkies of the poor bastards who stand beside the conveyors and help out the machines.
Council quote: “Kitchenware, mirrors and windows are made of heat-strengthened material and melt at a higher temperature than glass used for jars and bottles. This means these materials will not melt during the recycling process and cause contamination of the finished product (five grams of this material in one tonne of glass is enough to contaminate the whole load).” I feel sooo guilty.
Well there you go, Ms Totally Guilty. I figure you’ve contaminated maybe 3 or 4 hundred tonnes so far - and counting. Alternatively it’s one very stuffed load.
At least we mean well.
You must have heard it…
Dear FD and family
Day’s Date
Address not shown off cause of wheelie bin theves
cc Dogonauts.
I am writing to tellyou something that has occurred, Mr Onthemoon sir. (that seems obvious but anyway it’s a start.)
Will you please speak and say if there was anything you remember in the aforesaid green wheelie bin setting aside whether it was borrowed, stolen, vanished, strayed, faded, got lost, whichsoever. The bin I mean. If it was after bin night maybe full of cast offs. Thanx.
I haven’t been able to imagine why anybody would come in a helicopter and airlift out a wheelie bin like I am wondering is happening to us.
But if you threw out any old cartoons. Maybe dropped them in your wheelie bin instead of the come back to Sorrento charlie.
Who knows on Christmas Island by now might be a go in your case which is this case like pinching Pollocks. I thought of it in the night. I can’t overlook kismet.
Even an old tissue with the indentation where you tested out the free pharma funding biro.
On the road again
‘shoe.
I wouldn’t have believed it of Meski. It comes as a shock.
Meski, I thought long and hard about it but came down on the don’t do it side, my version has the garbo asking a collingwood supporter
Go ‘Pies
What about drinking glasses that were originally jars? (cheese spread tumblers, that kind of thing?) I’m really doubtful that most kitchenware drinking glasses are heat strengthened, anyway.
all the answers
http://www.hrr.com.au/faq.php
and
http://recyclingnearyou.com.au/education/recycling-facts-tips.cfm
Bless This Meski.
It’s a loophole and I’m taking it.
To the person who claimed to wash their recyclables; you don’t have paper products?
The Septic Isle is currently in a phase-lock of wheelie bin burning - something to do with a terminal society - monkey see, monkey do, up and down the land.
A Pedant writes - Juliette’s use of “wherefore” was actually asking “WHY?” (must it be that her beloved Romeo is on the tuther side of the families’ feud) rather than ‘where ya at, handsome?’.
VENISE: I was one who said she washes. Why do you ask?
(I rarely myself buy a tin I think to mention!)
AR: Hello. Are you friendly? I think perchance I don’t know the story you refer to well enough to decipher your hand. I think the Bard wrote that you know in one of his colourful moments (I saw Nureyev dance his own production, lucky me and we almost were late, ran panting upstairs in such anxiety we would be locked out. Montagues and Capulets both appeared magnificent).
Take heart AR, however you advance.
Dogonauts all, I offer.
http://twitpic.com/2lfn03
SANDSHOE: Hi there!
The reason I asked was because most of my recyclables seem to be newspapers and I was wondering how to wash a broadsheet?
Please don’t ask why I have newspapers as well as the on line news, because I’m still not sure myself!
