There are no losers, everyone gets a prize!
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Editor: Sophie Black
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43 Comments
very good FD, i especially like the macaulay culkin reference..
Totally whack.
Damn you FD.
I was feeling very “grown up” about this election and kept thinking it was going to be alright.
But then you go and tell me that Australia is EATING MILO OUT OF THE TIN!
Obviously it’s all over and those wretched *flying foxes* have won!
Could there possibly be a T-shirt big enough to fit all this stuff on.
Mbggffhf gghg vvjjv jmmbmbmff—food for thought FD.
Yes, In my day you at least had to put the dry Milo into a glass, and remember not to inhale it.
You’re determined to have fun with Katter, FD? I suggest a more court jester look than just the liquid paper eyes.
First Dog …did you watch a whacky French war movie the other night? Crepuscular indeed! I’m still vacillating between Papua New Guinean or New Zealandish citizenship. Anything is better than having to own up to be a Queenslander - even to the Queen of Nambour!
Ummm …when will the shirts be available and will they come in XXXXXXXX large because I think Clive wants one too.
I slept in. What happened ? Am I being liminal or sub that ?
This is a pale imitation of how funny Bob Katter really is.
He knew the NSW independents were making him look relatively stupid on the 7:30 Report last night, so he kept yelling “New Paradigm!” and then forget which century we’re in.
Linky
You got me with the ‘eating milo right out of the tin’ as well. I laughed and nearly spat my drink on my monitor. Gold, FD! Gold!
At last! an analysis of the situation that make sense!
That Federal Election character has certainly come a long way since he first made an appearance in FDOTM. I seem to vaguely remember a depressed, overweight character watching tele in the dark. Now look at him—trés cool.
Hehehe… Poor Steve Fielding… After the phone call he quickly locked his front and back doors just in case the fridge got out and ran off down the road… (old joke FD but tres enjoyable in this context).
Feddy Election hasn’t made it in Celeb Street until he’s got his own talk-back program and hosted a no-talent TV program such as “Australia’s Got Politicians”.
But, he’s really made it when New Idea breathlessly announces that he’s having and affair with one of the contestants — especially if it’s Julia Gillard.
BTW FD.
I know it’s been a big weekend….But I still think it’s *very* poor form to leave out any mention of the *most* important person in the country………..
Wilson Friggin Tuckey!!! Yeeehahh!!!
Move over Frank Campbell, Bob Katter has arrived to make his mark with fresh material.
Mr Onthemoon, are there really “turtles in the laneways”? I had no idea our situation was so dire.
I thought Federal Election had hanged himself, but no, there he is, all shaved and groovy and sitting in Sophie Black’s spot.
He’s going to want to do this again very soon.
I love Elfy the Elf and his Elfettes but I worry about the NBN nymph wandering around by herself in the digital dividend desert with nobody (seemingly) worrying about her.
Paddy, I’ll miss Wilson.
I think he personifies the true coalition spirit. Mad, rabid, insane, bigoted, moronic, self-interested, narrow-minded, foaming-at-the-mouth, mean-spirited and generally not very pleasant.
Otherwise, good to have around when the rellos come over - except the gay ones, and the socially-conscious ones, the ones who care about fairness, the welfare of the aged and infirm, the environment or any issue demanding an IQ greater than a shoe size to understand.
On reflection, I change my mind.
Yeeeeehhhhhaaaaaa !
Dash it is hard. What is the country saying. Go’on the wallabies! Sk’tch em! Get y’ gear off our land! [Sigh]
@ANDREW LE CLERCQ There is no pointed in wasting a cool new joke on Steve Fielding. Sublime as ever FD.
@DONICA: True enough. Steve Fielding will now join Wilson Tuckey in the waiting room at the parliamentary taxidermist. Alternatively, they can both go stuff themselves - sort of a DIY project now they have so much free time on their hands
Andrew Le C,
That’s a beautiful thought, hold it! But the unforgettable Steve Fielding doesn’t get the boot until next July when the new senators take their place on the benches.
First Dog will miss Steve when he’s gone but now he has Bob Katter as his muse.
DONICA: Fielding must have told all his followers he got into the Senate all on his own. Because they were all over the place like light being shone onto a mushroom field.
They all failed, badly. I wonder if he is blaming god for this trouncing?
MILO EATERS: How terribly ‘kempt’ you lot are. I used to lurve eating Milo out of a tin. It gave it that smell of authenticity. The sound of a spoon hitting the Milo tin was heaven.
Sometimes I added a soupçon of real, from our own cows-all four of them- unpasteurized (sic) bliss. We used to make our own cream cheese. Butter, ordinary cream. YUM. Clotted cream. YUM YUMMMM. The milk was real milk. You could almost float a wheetbix on it.
What on earth are today’s children going to remember, looking at the trees they weren’t allowed to climb?
We had a big open fire and would toast our crumpets. When toasted I’d put a huge dollop of butter and repeated it until I could feel it coming out the back of the crumpet. A quick smear of vegemite. A hot mug of Milo and reading by the fireside with the occasional spitting little blob of wood hissing past my ears. Until the day I was caught red-handed allowing this to happen.
FD mentions a lot of fauna, but no bats in the belfrey. Perhaps they had all gone to QLD.
I remember a contest run by Crikey as what we would do if we knew we were going to die within five, ten minutes.
My answer was that I would make out a note for arriving aliens way out in the third solar system, via Zog and Freuo, warning them that God was an anachronism but QLD was worse.
After the election I can only say “My God! How right I was!”
@ Venise I once watched a cousin eating dry Milo, make the (near) fatal error of inhaling. Is it terrible to laugh at the memory? She survived.
HOLDEN B: Screams of laughter Hahahahahaha. I can remember coughing into a tin of it and getting Milo all over my face. But not inhaling it. Hahahahahahaha.
If she ever reads your posts, please tell her there was nothing personal in my coarse laughter.
W.Tuckey won’t have to get thrown out of Parliament on a friday to get home quicker and Steve fielding has been laid off by God . When is it safe to come out on the streets of QLD ?
The cackling green elves are real - http://www.sydney.foe.org.au/sites/files/foesydney/FOE%20-%20Merry%20Xmas%20002.jpg
“Eating Milo right out of the tin”! I actually did a genuine Laugh Out Loud (LOL) at that! Genius. I love the chaos, desperation and techtonics in play at the moment. I’m in Vietnam and I’m getting hourly sms updates from my friends in Australia. It is wonderful! No one wins! What a great assessment of the quality of Australian major party politicians!
What you do is: take a scoop of icecream, pour cream over it, sprinkle milo on cream. Wait for cream to set. It isn’t healthy…
Was that your arteries I just heard hardening, Mesk ?
FD biting satire words of the day: “snerk snork”
FD: what’s the most authoritative source upon which Bob drew for his assertion about flying foxes vs taipans? This could emerge as one of the nation’s most dire cost to the dream of over-population than we’ve EVER seen! That aside: Bob for El Presidente, come the republic (tanks in the streets lending a nice mise en scene touch, of course).
On ya, FD
As others more qualified than I have already noted: ‘SHEER GOLD!’
“There are no losers”
What a lovely upbeat view, although it falters sporadically after you were apparently hit over the head by a thesaurus.
KEVIN!!!!!!!!!
@ Venise, not a chance of her reading the posts, and I quite understand. It was hilarious, in an awful way.
MIKE J: Oh, I’m sure we will all miss Ironbar. In the manner of if he suddenly croaked we would all rush off to the funeral, to make sure the bastard was dead.
We could all club together to make a bouquet to extend to him the depth of our commiserations, at the demise of his cushy sinecure. Scotch thistles and blackberry stalks would look interesting.
A few sprigs of poison ivy wouldn’t go astray either. A lovely, lethal little present. I’m sure one, or more, of the resident gurus who inhabit these pages could come up with an appropriate card.
Better than MasterChef dudes could think of. I am pleased for a recipe, @ MESKI.
FD, man I have been thinking. The organism [fr. 2]’forms’ a cup of tea perhaps not ‘makes’ ?
Milo is a radical departure. Two empties be good mail carriers for a pigeon on the Christmas Island leg. Never has enquiry become more important how long is a good piece of string for the boatphone.
My best idea. The great big tins might end up good when we get to to the bottom of one to dangle on a string as a shower. It’ll get through in the new built environment standards & regs.
c ya
‘shoe.
Milo sandwiches.
Prise jagged lid of tin of condensed milk open enough to slide in teaspoon to extract a twist of the content and dip the spoon of condensed milk so quicky into a tin of Milo no trace of condensed milk appears left behind in the Milo granules. Slurp at and tease out milk with tip of tongue off spoon without getting loose Milo up nose and sneezing.
Wow, First Dog, channelling Yeats “the centre cannot hold”, that is damn impressive!
PUFF, THE MAGIC DRAGON: There is an art to Milo sandwiches, and probably, aged thirty, one of the reasons I had a high cholesterol count.
It needs an awful lot of butter to bed the Milo, and another layer of butter between the Milo and the bread to make sure the Milo isn’t whisked away on the wind!