Fed up with The Federal Election
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34 Comments
I’ll decide tomorrow night whether I want to punch the federal election in the face or hug it.
Cheer up Election! Perhaps you should go for a holiday to somewhere like China - people there would love to have you!
not being complusory would be a start…
Only one comment this late in the day? Oh dear, Mr OTHM: you’ve been working yourself ragged these past few weeks (in particular), no doubt with lotsa Valium etc to hand - and who could blame you? I myself have drunk myself into blissful oblivion daily, just to cope.
But, oh yes, the poor Federal Election critter itself. I sobbed, uncontrollably. Reminded of my so many of Leunig’s bleatings against the Barbarians in recent years.
I say: your good self and Leunig should run this country with Possum C as Special Head of State).
Meanwhile………………………………………..Saturday looms.
I shall vote Green (for the first time, in both houses) despite being in one of the ossified Nat seats with a +5.9 swing. A mere, probably pathetic, ‘protest vote’. But have just also taken possession of a glorious German Ronisch piano circa 1874, and will simply practise scales or Czerny exercises during the truly scary bits during election night. Whilst drinking copiously, naturellement.
Please take care of yourself Poss. Do you have a good therapist?????
Jiminy Cricket! As though I wasn’t sufficiently despondent already.
@Grinder, you raise a great point.
Go on. Do it.
Sincerest apols Mr OTM: I’d like you to take great care of yourself. Been reading you and Poss every day to stay remotely sane, so forgive me, please.
No wait. Don’t do it.
Watch the OMG Cat and the Dramatic Lemur on the Video of the Day.
I’m having mood swings to rival Newspoll.
[Please refrain from insulting other commenters - Mod]
@ Leigh J
Yes, I wondered about that.
Meantime, let’s try to look on the bright side and find the silver lining in the cloud - if the Coalition wins, Mr Onthemoon will have an excess of bizarre material to inspire him over the next 3 years.
One of your best FD. Love it.
most great literature has an autobiographical aspect
I feel really guilty now. I’ve been so mean to the Federal Election, I really have.
Do you think it would like to come to my party tomorrow night?
Poor old election thingy. I suspect it is not depressed by the nasty words - it is depressed because it has spent several weeks with Tony and Julia et al…
Cheer up Mr Election, the two contenders for the Major Parties look just as exhausted as you.
Meanwhile, in the seat of Higgins nothing disturbs the ordinary Friday afternoon hustle and bustle of dogs and people. This is because everyone votes Liberal. It’s awful living in a blue ribbon electorate.
Not once, in my entire life, has my vote ever disturbed the status quo. How depressing. And yet, I still keep doing it. Why?
Deluded creature that I am, I shall devote myself over the next 3 years to bringing a smile back to Mr Elections face. Dognauts, rise up, to the barricades, and sing:
C’mon everyone: What would happen next in the “we are totally off our face” script?
@Venise: You can always have a go at the huge white picnic tablecloth thingy a.k.a Senate Ballot form to annoy the majors. Sadly, Canetoads for a Free Tibet are not standing any Senate candidates this time
I think both Abbott and Gillard and particularly all the stupid, uneducated swinging voters in marginal seats who need to be bribed to vote should be ashamed of themselves for the way they’ve made the FE feel. Poor FE, no wonder there are so many mental health issues in the community when people abuse democracy so.
On another note, I’ve been wondering…. do Jasper and Abbey still have themselves barricaded in the Lodge?
@VIX: Wish I could write a whistly ‘wheww’ sound. Dinkum. German Ronisch piano circa 1874. I do have a Hardman Peck Autotone minus player mechanism circa 1940s I mention. Repetition but. Everybody knew that. It has a tone to cop passing criminals by, Vix. I bought it for Joplin.
@EVERYBODY: Sunday is too far away. It’s an election that has to sleep in but where, maybe China, yes, Grinder, it could be welcome. Kate is upset she has been mean. Andrew Le Clerq sans crocodile joke. Even SBH has gone to soulful reflection sounds about this novella of a cartoon. I wonder now maybe a silhouette of a life lived less gladly than we hope of a life lived by FD (good dog). Elbaroni surely is teetering. Sigh. Michael Matusik is grumpy (understood). EMC sounds like his heart is racing and life as he looks at it a sort of blender. Zut Alors! No stronger remark than ‘sufficiently despondent’.
I write my constitution to its end sometime in the next 24 hours and it ought of been the American one it has risen in rhythm to the background murmur of news to such heights of proclamation and resists corruption from Ayers Rock to the great grey Pacific and in every direction else. I am reviewing-and rewriting rather a-not mine and how can I claim a constitution. I haven’t one of my own let alone can do much about the exercise of my will. Our lives are falling into the doubt … is it all worth it.
Of course! Why? Because we dared. Venise dared.
YOUSE GUYS ARE GREAT! THANKS FOR THIS FABULOUS EXPERIENCE FIRST DOG EH!XXXX
Jenny and Fascinated! The Lounge is filling up! PARTY!
Jenny,
I’m unsure where Jasper is domiciled but if you look under First Dog’s daily cartoon Jasper can be seen busy at his desk. I’m surmising he’s CEO of the Crikey Emporium and is in charge of All Matters Marketing.
Dearest Venise, if it helps you any, we live in Grayndler. So Labor that my vote doesn’t count here either. Curiously it’s because I’m a Labor voter too.
Fingers crossed Doggonauts.
Awwww.
I want to give the Federal Election a nice big hug.
(hope he doesn’t take it the wrong way)
Mike, Venise, Sandshoe,
My contingency plan: if Abbott prevails I shall be withdrawing to the safety of the Dogonaut Lounge indefinitely, refusing to face reality and rejecting society. My best friend will probably be voting for Abbott - I sense it but dare not ask for fear of hearing the awful suspicion confirmed.
Zut such warm acknowledgement of my sensitivity AND you have helped ME nevertheless prob loath to raise a finger despondent.
For DEMOS! Such DESPAIR! I have gone GREEN from the triplets in my head and they are all fat to the shaky trills in my toes for the first time in my life swinging swinging swung.
Dear Federal election,
On the beaches No Pasarán!
On the landing grounds No Pasarán!
In the fields and in the streets No Pasarán!
In the hills No Pasarán!
We shall never surrender No Pasarán!
Until tomorrow………Early and often.
ANDREW LE C: I was planning to do that, only problem being that out of 54 senate candidates there are so many worthy people to put last. The Sporting Shooters, the DLP, the ACL, Family First, three independents, I have nothing against them, but I don’t know about them. The Democrats-have they just swiped the name? And so on through 54 bloody candidates.
ZUT: I swear I really am going to live in Argentina if Tony Abbott gets in. People have such short memories. The man is a brutal Catholic thug and he has reached an age where any flexible thinking is extraordinarily difficult. In his case impossible. Yet the electorate is asked to believe there is a whole new Tony Abbott? As one amongst us would say…Pig’s Arms.
MIKE J: I love your comment ending ‘and I’m a Labor voter’. As least you know you have, like, a vested interested with your vote.
Because I told Peter Costello what he could do with his expensive coloured pamphlets, I have been struck off the list of Msssss Kelly O’Dwyer. She of the cast iron jaw. She who cannot be dislodged. Cries of anguish.
SANDSHOE:
Aux arms les citoyens,
Formez vous bataillons
Marchons, etc
PADDY: You have seldom said a truer word. ¡No pasarán! Digo como si fuera la
última vez. ¡No pasarán!
EMC: My mood is swinging from bad to chronic, then to despair.
Friends, fellow voters, countrymen. Don’t lend them your ears. Just don’t vote for the bastards.
FASCINATED: You are in this too.
Absolutement. Merci mon amie.
And so… to battle
Just wondering how the plan’s holding up, Zut.
Mike,
I am buoyant and enjoying the great fuss in all camps. The democracy fox is running amok amongst the political chickens!
Fingers are crossed for Andrew Wilkie in Denison - he is a rare species in that he challenged The Lying Rodent (aka John Howard) with the truth prior to the Iraq invasion. Wilkie paid dearly for it and deserves a guernsey in the House.
Bloody Tony Abbott (I wanted him to lose by enough to have given Labor a cardiac arrest) But enough’s enough. He’ll be on the phone to the Independents and the Greens telling them god will cause the pox on the families unless they support him.
Well, I hope Labor will have learned by this savage piece of retribution.
I thought Kevin Rudd looked frightful. Maybe he too, has reason to doubt the existence of an almighty whosiwhat’sit careering around the heavens. Ha!
Democracy socks
slogans with pox.
Power Fox mocked,
chicken’s now floxed.
Jasper’s
shadow
hovers
over
yum cha.
Fascinated: Haiku or Hokku I just don’t know. No matter. Your calming influence does the trick.
Wonderful!
A wee moment. My alarm is going ballistic. Zut I am worried for. 75! I saw a report to Abbott.