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29 Comments
Love it … I feel like the nation is going sideways more than forward.
Good to see at least it’s not reading all that trashy gossip about itself in the newspapers.
In the interests of authenticity shouldn’t that read “HARDWORKING Australians are naturally a people who want to go forward”?
If this is someone’s version of going forward I much prefer stationary.
I’m having an off day. I’m home with a flu-thing and I’ve done exactly the same. I think I even look that colour. I don’t have a tail though.
I’m so glad you’re back from holidays. Can we look forward to more exciting adventures of the Federal Election?
Democracy looks how I feel - and its not good. Ironic/appropriate that its Bastille Day today - maybe what democracy needs is a good old fashioned revolution where we storm the barricades, throw out the old regime and restore people power!
I have to say FD, that federal election looks suspiciously like an illegally imported baby elephant.
How did you get it through customs? Boogie board?
Or did you just drop the name of a certain flame-haired SWMBO?
Brrnnnngg
“mzzg what? … yes, hello?”
“Hi Feddy, it’s me, Gaffewatch.”
“Oh hello Gaffer. I was hoping it might be Julia. Or at least Quentin. It’s been nearly three years since anyone thought to even pick up the phone and ask after me.”
“Oh FCOL stop your whining and listen to me. As soon as you get that call you make sure you text me straight away.”
“You know I always do. Even before Latika.”
“It’s crucial that before anyone of those tryhards actually tries to articulate a policy I can distract the moron voters with a Gotcha! You know, ‘Can you rule in or out anyone being worse off if you don’t take action in the future or not? A simple yes or no!’ Or ‘Peter Garrett!’ That sort of thing.”
“OK OK, I won’t forget. Ooh hang on, I can hear call waiting.”
I think the delay is because our PM’s waiting for a boat arrival held up by striking Waterside Workers in Djakarta. Some factional warlords called a go-slow on a containment of celebratory pyrotechnics for Labor’s landslide win until final party polling. It’s precautionary in case the Coalition wins by a whisker and Abbott returns rockets to Indonesia.
Don’t answer! It’s just another f*cking telemarketer.
And to make matters worse I’m wearing the Rudd Pets socks today. The sheer pathos is hitting right in the gut.
Zut, thanks for reminding me. I forgot to be depressed for a minute there.
Two pairs for me. Sob, Sob. Wait, I also forgot that I don’t give a sh*t one way or the other.
But if a Pig’s Arse was running against Abbott and the coalition, I’d be handing our how to vote cards for the PA party - or scrutineering.
What a reputation - a scrutineer for Pig’s Arse votes……. is that a valid Liberal vote ? Pig’s Arse ! I smell a chad coming on….
FD: I love the irony. Australians want to go forward? Do me a tiny. Australians live firmly and squarely in the past.
One example only:-The very fact we are content to have a foreigner as our head of State, marks us as being some where between the stone age and America’s Deep South of the year 1861.
Our only assets are a seemingly infinite amount of minerals-or one vast hole-in-the-ground, from which all the foreigners extract humongous amounts of minerals in order to send it all overseas, and make equally humongous amounts of money. Allowing the inhabitants of Oz free to use fossil fuels and to bugger up our own ecosystem.
While we are all inhaling the poisonous fumes from brown coal/black coal as found in Gippsland, other countries HAVE looked forward, and are using clean technology and non-polluting energy.
OK, it costs a little more, but Hey! Isn’t it what we receive, plus two to three hundred thousand percent profit to the mining companies, for flogging off all our assets to overseas companies?
@Mike Jones,
Pig’s Arse was on Q&A this week, looking and sounding as out of touch as ever.
Mike,
The plan is to use the Rudd Pets socks sparingly to eke out their sock-life.
Am thinking of wearing them only for extraordinarily special occasions ie: coronations, the Second Coming, moon landings, swearing in of Oz Prime Ministers (nah, scratch the latter, could be far too frequent).
Socratease,
At least this time the Pig’s Arse didn’t try to smoke on the Q&A set, nor did his mobile phone ring. Must’ve been carefully vetted.
Rudd Pets socks will be capitalising at the moment—perhaps they should go into a safe deposit box
I think a vase of brightly coloured flowers would brighten thing up for the little fella.
What’s that dangling from the phone? It looks like a cord. I’ve seen phones like that in old movies.
I said to my husband, while folding the washing, I said, “do you even know what those socks are about, that you wear? Do you?” I had to explain. He said, “Oh.” Now what do I do?
Everyone knows socks should be balled.
First Dog you’ve made me realise I love the Federal Election and want to give him a big hug.
The poor snorkley, chubby creature with his life of uniform days of tea and telly and tedium is a beautiful touching portrayal of mild depression. He doesn’t need personality pills to bring him out of his funk.
He just has to realise that it is him, and him alone who will rid us of the absurd situation where we have Tony Abboott and Steve Fielding being taken seriously and having influence on the running of the country.
Unfortunately, for the next six weeks he’ll have all sorts of people who don’t know him claiming to have intimate knowledge of who will take him. Show pony polls will try to imitate him, when everyone knows he’s the only one that counts. Some will even claim he isn’t fair.
But I love him, because I know he’ll do the right thing.
[Lovely work Mr Cat - Mr Dog]
EMC, as a cat, you’re showing an inordinate amout of compassion and perhaps even offering an allusion to the Federal Election being an FD alter ego.
I know cats, EMC, and this suggests that you are either not really a cat, or that you have a ghost writer - possibly somebody like Abby.
Mike J: The Dog makes me forget sometimes.
But as the great Warumpi Band song almost said —
Catfella, dogfella,
it doesn’t matter,
as long as you truefella.
pity the princess of altona’s tv quote did not include the word ‘obviously’ or several ‘obviously’ as according to you learned folk at Crikey in the 20 interview transcripts posted since Julia took office, she used the word ‘obviously’ 166 times — an average of more than eight times per interview, or in rough terms, more than once per minute…
@ Michael Matusik
You’re obviously counting.
Best in a while, sums up my mood since the fun of the ranga revolt. What kind of animal is the federal election, a bandicoot?
MICHAEL MATUSIK: At what stage did you start to count them?
Obviously you are no fan of the Princess. Obviously! Simply shocking.
I thought only “Working Families wanted to go forward?”
Or was it “Working families can’t go forward so they need more welfare?”
all i can say in reply is ‘obviously’
Pollies put their kettles on. They mirror to win. It’s in all the nursery rhyme books.