The inside scoop on Paul the clairvoyant calamari
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On Monday morning the Netherlands will play Spain in the final of the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. As expected there is much anticipation surrounding this game as both nations have never been crowned champions despite both having a wonderful history in the game. But often World Cups produce “sideshows” to the biggest event in world sport, and this time around it’s no different. Every football fan, and perhaps many non football fans, would be now aware of the celebrity achieved by Paul the Octopus. Paul is a common octopus who was born in England and now resides at Sea Life Oberhausen in the German town of the same name. His fame has been acquired because he has been touted as somewhat of an oracle, a clairvoyant calamari, who has predicted correctly 11 of the last 12 games played by Germany which includes all their World Cup matches and in Euro 2008 before that.
But this morning Crikey received an anonymous tip about Paul. How is it, asked our tipster, that a humble cephalopod can somehow predict, terrifyingly accurately, the outcome of games played on another continent? Let’s have a look at who Germany has beaten (Paul predicted all of these correctly):
And now look at who Germany has lost to (Paul predicted all of these correctly except for the Euro 2008 final between Spain and Germany where he incorrectly picked Germany. Your bad, Paul):
It appears, pointed out our Deep Throat, that Paul has a disposition towards certain colours. Red, white and blue together are Paul’s favourite (hence Serbia and Croatia), red and yellow are his second favourites (it’s why he struggles with Germany and Spain) and he least likes red and white together (Austria, Poland, England etc). Why? According to Assistant Curator Alison Edmunds, the giant pacific octopuses at the Melbourne Aquarium are “very tactile, they can change to a lot of colours. They like reds, blacks, greys and whites.” Edmunds said that the Melbourne Aquarium’s octopi like playing with toys and are particularly attracted to shiny objects and are “very curious animals.” But that doesn’t scientifically explain (Common Octopus) Paul’s selections, and research on the subject appears limited. Crikey contacted many leading Australian aquariums, several marine science faculties of major universities and a few zoos in an effort to talk to an octopus expert. Our leads directed us to Research Scientist Mark Norman of the Melbourne Museum, but he was unable to get back to us before deadline. However, according to How Stuff Works.com , Octopi have “acute vision and can detect colors. Like the human eye, the octopus eye consists of a lens, two fluid-filled chambers, and a light-sensitive retina.” And according to a 1997 New Scientist article, tests were conducted in which an octopus “in a research laboratory in Naples learnt to choose a red ball instead of a white one by watching another octopus.” So based on our extensive research into Octopi and their penchant for colour, what will Paul choose in Monday morning’s game between Spain and the Netherlands? Going on the psychic sea creature’s past choices Paul should predict a Dutch victory as he will most likely appreciate that country’s flag (red, white and blue horizontal stripes) over Spain’s.
So, if Paul is to be believed, then then come Monday the Netherlands will have won their first ever World Cup. |
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23 Comments
ground breaking stuff, and you’re worried about the ‘tabloids’ talking about Danii’s baby?
No wonder you need readers to send in more stories, if this is the best you can produce
Oh, get a life, Paul - this story was a hoot!
As the article says, “often World Cups produce “sideshows” to the biggest event in world sport, and this time around it’s no different.”
The beauty of an ezine like Crikey is that is isn’t limited by space … so it can cover the stories of import and still have room for fluff, too!
that’d be octopuses (Mr Squid he spikka da octopussy as well) or octopodes if you want to be an eight-appendaged wanka.
This yarn is a wonderful break from the usual banalities that the meeja foist on us.
oh, and he ain’ta da calamari ( i spikka dat wan too).
Very funny stuff and as for Pete from Sydney- lighten up! You Sydney people take yourselves so seriously!
(thinking I might see what Paul the Octo picks then put a fiver on it!)
‘Octopodes’ old chap. Rare,arcane but correct.
Also why not ‘mentat mollusc’ ‘psychic cephalapod’ ‘omniscient octo’ or for those who like spanish style ‘prescient pulpo’ rather than the faltly wrong calamari reference
I understand that after the world cup gig, Paul has been offered a front bench position with the ALP based on his predictive capacity, lack of rigid internal structure and his talent for wriggling into and out of tight spots.
Nice hypothesis, however your extensive research doesn’t seem to extend as far as Wikipedia, which reveals that the Common Octopus Octopus Vulgaris does not have colour vision.
I love this kind of stuff from crikey! They always seem to find some new angle to stories which are overlooked by msm. And Paul the Octupos beats Danii’s whatsits anyday!
Still doesn’t explain why the mental molusc got it RIGHT 91.6% of the time….go Paul! Better than your usual shonky psychic, eh?
You still have failed to explain why or how those colours happen to be the winner when Paul picked them.
Ok, according to Wikipedia Paul can’t see colours. Is he any good with Lotto numbers?
Is this paul color blind…? I mean I don’t believe in this octopus’s predictions. His prediction of the winner is nothing but just a pure guess.
Lovefilm UK
Stick to the Aussie rules and don’t allow your red, blue and white prejudice to jaundice the views of a sensible octopus that has in fact gone for Spain!
Paul can recognise the flags and associate them to the country names. He doesn’t like countries that start with vowels, and the letters P, T, G.
He is partial to S, and C probably has the kind of curve that reminds him of S. He’s an octopus, afer all, and therefore fallible.
But overall, Paul is very, very smart indeed.
Even though Paul is originally English, he now lives in Germany. So he speaks German, and therefore would identify “G”ermany as “D”eutschland. So, possibly, he likes the letter D a lot, but not at the expense of S. Again, the curve in D is reminiscent of C or S.
Or maybe they are getting their tips from a local sports writer and smearing a little fish sauce onto the pilchard in the box they want the octopus to go towards. Those fat fkn dolphins at Sea World do not perform back flips for free.
Well PETA are now on the case, so we can all rest easy.
PETA Spokesman Bruce Friedrich says the group is urging people to sign an online petition demanding Paul’s release.
“No animal deserves to be confined to a tiny tank and we’re hoping that Paul’s popularity, or in Germany notoriety, will cause people to think a little bit more about the inner lives of octopusses,” he said.
Paul has picked Spain, which shoots that theory out of the water….erm….so to speak.
I have a feeling that the explanation is much more simpler than the one offered above. In every picture that I have seen of Paul choosing, he is always doing the same thing: He’s sitting on top of the box on the right. Never the left, just the right.
With 91.6% accuracy, someone is very good predictor. They’re just not an octopus.
@Zut Alors “Ok, according to Wikipedia Paul can’t see colours.”
Well thats obviously dead wrong - because Octopi can change to camouflague almost perfectly with the colours of its surroundings.
Another reason wikipedia has to be taken with a (large) grain of salt…
@ Engineeringreality,
“wikipedia has to be taken with a (large) grain of salt…”
Coincidentally, that’s exactly how I take octopus. Yum.
Paul the Octopus confined to a seafood salad….
Funny how a marine researcher says octopuses are colour blind.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/07/12/2951339.htm