As volcano ash from the Eyjafjallajokull glacier drifts across Europe, we were struck by the gallows humour of this email that gives a nice simple perspective to inconvenienced air travellers.
April, 2010
Crikey Says: Gallows humour? Hang the expense
Journos fail the spelling test
Hundreds of UK and US journalists took a spelling test by The Spelling Society — and the results aren’t good. A quarter couldn’t spell “embarrassed”, and many also tripped up on “millennium”, “accidentally” and “liaison”.
Kohler: Bugger health, this is all about Howard’s GST stuff-up
The debate about national control over health and hospitals is just Rudd’s Trojan tax horse, writes Alan Kohler. Kevin Rudd wants to wrestle back the GST from the states who’ve just wasted all the cash John Howard recklessly gave them.
How Mossad would deal with bin Laden: Tarantino-style
If Mossad captured Osama bin Laden, it would go all Inglorious Basterds on his arse, writes Abe Novick, in a rather twisted revenge fantasy that culminates in the US being so grateful, it happily lets Israel attack Iran.
Why taxpayers don’t actually fund anything
Politicians and pundits who use the phrase “taxpayers’ funds are being mis-spent” betray their fundamental lack of understanding about how the monetary system functions, explains Bill Mitchell.
Australia hasn’t run out of hospital beds — we’ve run out of nurses
There is no shortage of public hospital beds, says former AMA Chairman Dr Peter Arnold. There are beds aplenty — just in closed wards. And the wards are closed because there is a shortage of nurses.
Enough with the cry-baby mums
Your life is ruined because you had a baby and now spend all your time doing housework not having sex. Boo hoo, enough with the misery mumoirs, says Samantha Selinger-Morris. Did you think parenthood would be a breeze?
Endless flow of predictable bollocks on stilts (Brown, Cameron and Clegg)
Maybe it’s schadenfreude but it’s better fun following other Anglophone elections, says W H Chong, as he talks the UK debate, David Cameron’s tie and Gordon Brown’s theme song as sung by Amy Winehouse.
The death of http://
Google has ditched the “http://” url prefix from its Chrome web browser, heralding the beginning of the end for this internet anachronism.
The Jock Wrap: We don’t like Twicket, oh no, we love it
Alas, Fremantle’s winning streak is over. And the Western Bulldogs lost. The mood was grim in Crikey HQ, but First Dog on the Moon and Leigh Josey fought through it to talk sport in the week that was.
Why Sydney needs a second airport
Tiger’s confirmation of a deal with Avalon Airport sends a very sharp message to Sydney, which is ‘build a second airport at Badgery’s Creek.’ Melbourne encourages economic growth while Sydney is actively discouraging it, says Ben Sandilands.
ABC’s Insiders: as balanced as a fat kid on a see-saw
The ABC’s Insiders may include an equal number of panellists with diametrically opposed views, but that doesn’t make it “balanced”, says The Political Sword. One David Marr does not equal one Andrew Bolt or Piers Akerman.
Rival news outlets join forces to save the planet
Mother Jones, The Atlantic, Center for Investigative Reporting, Grist, Mother Jones, Slate, Wired and PBS are pooling their resources into a new site called The Climate Desk: an ongoing, collaborative project aiming to break big stories on the impact of climate change.
Did the Herald Sun finger a snitch?
Did the Herald Sun’s decision to reveal that Williams was receiving payments from Victoria Police precipitate his violent death in order to silence him? asks Dave Gaukroger.
Volcano ash clouds Europe’s economy
The Icelandic volcano is costing the UK economy an estimated £100m every day the planes stay grounded. But while airlines, fresh produce and delivery services are losing out, train and ferry services and hotels are raking it in.
The media flogs Williams’ bloody corpse
Drug trafficker and hitman Carl Williams met his bloody demise in prison yesterday. It’s the story that has it all: murder, celebrity crims, betrayal, police corruption… but just how far will the nation’s papers go in celebrating the life and death of a murderer?
PHOTO GALLERY: Eyjafjallajokull erupts
More incredible photos from Iceland’s volcano, showing masked farmers desperately trying to save cattle from exposure to the toxic ash. Plus, the bizarre sight of when lava meets lightning.
King: Give Bligh daylight savings and she’ll sell that too
What happened to the women that Queenslanders voted in? asks Madonna King. Premier Anna Bligh sold off all the state’s assets and now is trying to escape scrutiny by talking about trivial issues.
Penberthy: Next stop, Kevin Rudd the musical
Kevin Rudd’s personal style is making his health reform plans terminal. Rudd’s setting himself to be the next Paul Keating: the popular PM who couldn’t convince voters of challenging ideas, says David Penberthy.
Stutchbury: Julia’s past her use-by
There’s a lazy $3 billion being wasted on the BER program, which would be better spent clinching Rudd’s hospital takeover deal. We need to halt Julia’s BER plan before there’s no money left, writes Michael Stutchbury.
graph pr0n 
Eyjafjallajökull’s emissions vs. CO2 saved by cancelled flights
Which emits more carbon per day: the world’s most hated volcano, or the European aviation industry? Guess.
revealed 
Apple’s next iPhone
Some soon-to-be-fired (or worse) Apple employee accidentally left the new, unreleased Jesus Phone in a Silicon Valley bar. Gizmodo found it, swears it’s the real deal, and has disassembled it for your pleasure.
rumour 
US Govt official: “Another big shoe to drop on Goldman”
US government officials have uncovered new documents “that link certain actions to specific people” at Goldman Sachs, an anonymous insider has told Newsweek. Expect the new bombshell to drop later today.
Henderson: Abbott is looking pretty in the polls
Ignore the headline figures on polls, says Gerard Henderson: Rudd and the ALP may be winning, but Abbott’s numbers are impressive for an Opposition Leader against a first-term government.
