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Independent news, blogs and commentary on politics, media, business, the environment and life.
Copyright © 2012 Private Media Pty Ltd, Publishers of Crikey. All Rights Reserved.
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Editor: Sophie Black
Publisher: Eric Beecher
Political Correspondent: Bernard Keane
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24 Comments
sensational! the patriotism of the penis brings tears to my eyes… queue comments?
Brings a tear to my eye, too.
Brings a tear to the end of Tony’s dick.
Chorus
I’ve been tearing ‘cross the desert
But who the fuck knows why
Pegged out amongst the sand dunes
‘Neath a fierce and pitliless sky
Some people think that I’m a jerk,
A tosser and a dolt
And wish that I’d just piss right off
And do a Harold Holt.
If I had one, I’m sure that my penis would swell with pride and Aussie fervour. Instead, my heaving breast will have to suffice.
Mike Jones that is a winner!!!!!!
Mike J, pure poetry to my ear
First Dog, you have excelled with this one - excruciatingly funny! If only it wasn’t so true (but then I guess it wouldn’t be so funny either). Lol.
I thought he was going to find the tree.
[Mr Dog says: It is funny you should mention it Sam. I had a whole thing about a Sunburnt Bum Tree but the editor made me take it out because she said it it wasn’t funny]
ROTFL
Brilliant Mike J.
And Denise M…..Get that dick out of your ear.
You don’t know where it’s been.
Dog you’re exaggerating (!).
They helped kill a million people in a far away land.
And also it’s so wet up there the Rainbow Serpent has really emptied the bladder this time. So it would be hard for Abbott to cark it under that “golden” sun, so to speak.
And besides, it was the meeja who got lost - no compass you see, so naturally they said the other guy is a wally. Those meeja are almost as tricky as you dog.
No hot dinner fella until you round up them camels.
The Harold Holt option can’t be far away.
We’ve had the truckie on the highway and now the elders in the desert.
Who will be our Lorena Bobbitt?
*shinpunches Editor*
Many thanks for your kind comments, Dogonauts.
On the way home after visiting the Dog, feel free to drop into the pub - http://www.pigsarms.com.au
Ern Malley’s Cat - Ace effort - the Lorena Bobbitt line is superb - it cuts me up big time, but not as much as it would Tony !
WTF: I’ve been in bed for a week and far, far too sick to read Crikey.
This afternoon I commented on the two FDs prior today. And now this one is being moderated. Someone’s got it in for me. Or is it because I used the ‘F’ word?
Editor: I re-wrote my comment and deleted the ‘F’ word: what happens? You delete the purified comment and put the one with the ‘F’ word on hold. To be moderated, of course.
Logic: where is thy reason?
I’m going back to bed!
I’m not the only person to use the ‘f’ word. WTF is going on around here?
MIKE JONES: As the editor is threatening to moderate my comment, I’m telling you under separate cover that your poem was a poem! Olé
Goodness me! Beer all over the keyboard.
Bullseye EMC.
(So who knew that Lorena Bobbitt was a ranga?)
Tony Abbott’s penis submitted this number, his own work, at an early rehearsal. It was rejected by the Production Team:
The love of peace, not coppers,
Of greenies and shaded pigments.
Of ordered coffee and herb-gardens
Is running in your dignints.
Soft love of gay homelessness
Brown skins and soft caring eyes
I see but cannot share it,
My love is otherwise.
I love a c-nt-burnt sun-tree
A land of weeping mange
Of ragged right-wing Rangers
And innumerate National pains.
I love her short-term policies,
And her governing just for me,
Our beauty versing their terror -
Those brown skinned wogs will see!
FD - Tony Abbott’s penis on ice-skates must have felt like it was having a day off! If its not getting rumbled and bonked on a bike seat, submerged for hours in the briny deep or working up a sweat aboard a quad bike in an outback rodeo ride it’s up and down like a yo-yo in Question Time. You’d think he’d be a bit more gentle with his love muscle or is it a boys thing?
Any objectivity I may have had regarding Abbott has been effectively & literally (k)nobbled.
I keep seeing images of Pauline Hanson wrapped in the flag…
But she wasn’t a Dick, was she?
‘And he is thus reconnected with his essential nature. That of being a Penis.’
(ROTFEMV)
Where are the Von Trapp family singers coming over the dunes singing
“How do you solve a problem like a Penis?….”
The size of Abbotts penis
the cause oft bereft of veritable Venus
hence in desert without dessert or torte’s
except Ma paw and her five daughters
http://www.pigsarms.com.au
Good to see the wonderful First Dog concentrating on the important things in life.
More TAP please!!
sigh
That wiry, mighty Abbott tool is looking good and looking long; it’s nice and shiny and even a bit darkish. Sometimes this slim muscular creature can be seen pleasuring itself by drooling over a prostrate Garrett insect or Conroy rodent.
Now-days, the diminutive Rudd wiener is usually rather shrunken, only rising briefly when it’s time to bite the pillow. For a while there, he had a thumping great Wang he referred to as Penny, but he still wasn’t allowed on top. Then there’s Julia in her high heels, laughing as she walks up and down his flabby pink body while he moans his latest “sorry” song.