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Feb 16, 2010
This time it's personal!
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> Tasmanian reporter Alison Andrews, who asked Abbott what he was giving up for Lent.
>In line with what has previously been described as his open-mouth policy, Abbott said: “Sex.”
I wonder if he looks away when eating a banana?
Thanks for the brilliant writing Cathy!
MESKI: Very funny! Olé olé!
That description left me wincing.
I’m now thinking of a reformation band called ‘The Mohels’ singing ‘Total Control’
Shite they’ve castrated my answer to you. Which was just wondering if it was a mohel was the guy who cut round the penis then ripped off the foreskin with his teeth.
Any other man from the community seen to be going down on baby boys would be in serious trouble. But because it’s in the name of religion it’s acceptable.
My use of the word ‘pruning’ was what I was thinking of doing to my roses. It’s probably a bit early for that.
Finally I said ‘I have no aversion to clicking onto your links. Olé. it’s just that I don’t know how.’
MESKI: For some reason the moderator has held up my reply. I didn’t use the ‘j’ word. Maybe it was the limerick???!!!
Argh, I did post it, but using the j word put it into moderation. FD seems to be running with the meme.
EMC: I’ll deal with you later!
Mr On the Moon: Likewise!
MESKI: Help. What’s a mohel?
Yes, mohel. It’s quite germane. For those of you with an aversion to clicking on my links (and there is sometimes a good reason for that)
A mohel (Hebrew:מוהל, plural mohelim, pronunciation: moy’el, mo’hel) is a Jewish man trained in the practice of Brit milah (circumcision).
Which is why I asked if Venise was one, as she was talking about pruning it a bit 🙂
[FD: Are you suggesting she is a slack mohel? – ahahahahha]
What the smeg ?
In search of the golden.. baquette.
Not drawn to scale? How would you know FD? Snigger
@meski – are you implying Venise was Meyer Lansky’s mistress?
Venise, prune it back a bit? Are you a mohel?
Love it, and now my second favourite ever – only behind the death of capitalism one…
The link should at least read “For the engorged version click here”
Buzz, another piece of crystal clarity ! Dogonauts ! Yes ! In search of the …. the golden what ?
Tony’s love-muscle SHOULD run for a seat. I’d vote for it.
DALZIEL: I suppose I do gush. Thanks for the tip! I’ll try, really try to prune it back a bit.
Those Wedge Tailed Eagles must have some powerful eyesight
Bird you may keep the wang …………but bring me his ears!
“Kill the Hobo’s Policy”: Jasper has no shame.
Nice balance between the bullet to the head with the previous mentioned vs. the empathic: “some people are so broken…., etc.
Any more gushing and you’d be able to call me Venise. (Who I also deeply respect…)
Hey, BTW: finally caught up with several weeks First Dog backlog (weep with envy, all: like 4 shots Tequila with a Long Island Iced Tea to follow).
There was one titled ‘My School”: 29th January.
Follows is my humble offering of a true story…
Regards to all.
Is it too early to put in requests for election badges? I’d like an arsehat, a right wing knob and a left wing d*ckhead to be included in the collection.
Seeing that the subject of this cartoon is Tony Abbott’s wang I wondered if anyone remembers the delightful limerick:
There was a young lady from Crewe
who found an elephant’s wang in her stew.
Said the waiter, “Don’t shout,
or wave it about,
Or the others will all want one too”.
Doggy, and so many commenters, we salute you.
I’d ask for a T shirt, but like those ones with “I’m not an American”, it might be too dangerous and could get the wearer killed by the semi-literate – which might also help drive a penile homelessness policy.
I DO note that a penis with no balls is not very useful – so 10/10 for accuracy, FDOM.
Bless you and long may you draw.
John, hi! Send me an email – I’m at Macquarie Uni, would love to catch up.
Sorry, Mr OntheMoon, for turning your comment log into a family reunion.
Cathy, that’s terrific.
Fela and Stanley would be in hysterics.
Rhonda’s girl is great.
Aw gee shucks thanks for your lovely comments. Feel free to sing it whenever and wherever appropriate. And where it’s not appropriate, if the spirit moves you… 😀
CATHERINE: That song is bloody brilliant! 🙂
🙂 Ah FD you’ve done it again. 🙂
“Good times” even if not drawn to scale. 🙂
That poor eagle is deluded; he doesn’t realise he’s just become a dead duck. 🙁
Bravo Catherine. That’s a ripper of a song.
Excellent song Catherine! We need to have a Dogonauts party and sing it loud.
People at my work are wondering why I nearly pissing myself laughing.
Boy I am glad that I checked this out FD. Cos I have stumbled upon a tremendously funny cartoon about abbot*s dick, howards true identity and Catherine Rytmeisters wit.
best yet and I thought fuctards was unbeatable.
Thank you very much
Purity is for the impotent and the unf able !
Which one are you Tony ?
Oh that’s wonderful, Mr OntheMoon. How we do adore you! And how we loathe Tony Abbott.
BTW I thought I would share with you a little song I wrote in response to Mr Abbott’s advice to his daughters a couple of weeks ago. It is set to Mr Bogle’s excellent tune “And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda”, and I very much hope that Mr Bogle doesn’t mind me borrowing it for a bit. And staying close to just a couple of the original lines, ‘cos they were too good to chuck away. Anyway, here it is:
The Tony Abbott Song/Precious Gift
When I was a young girl, pure and whole
I lived the clean life of a virgin
I had no idea that my precious gift
Was important to some politicians.
So when I turned 18 and the boy up the road
Said hey, how about it? I didn’t say “no”.
But dear Tony Abbott, if only I’d known
I’d have waited at least one more fortnight.
For I was now bereft of true value
By choosing a life full of sin
My precious gift gone, just a memory in song
All I’ve left is the box it came in.
And well I remember relief on those days
That my blood stained the sheets and the blankets
I took many risks but was mostly OK
I look back and for that I’m most thankful.
But I wonder, if only I’d kept myself nice,
Wore lippy and heels and played sugar and spice –
I’d have landed a man who’d have treated me right –
Someone just like that hypocrite Tony.
I grew older and wiser and carried a pack-
et of three, just in case I got lucky
And I did pretty well, despite no advice
From Abbott or Andrews or Tuckey.
Johnny Turk he was ready, he’d primed himself well,
But that wasn’t enough, I had Tommy as well
And Paddy, and Jock, and Pierre and Manuel
I had a right multicultural party.
With my precious gift thoroughly squandered
I still somehow managed with men
I swore and I drank and I danced and I skanked
While the band played Wild Rover Again.
Now I’ve settled down, with a rather good bloke,
Who with second-hand gifts seems delighted.
And I’ve a daughter myself, of that age when you might
Give advice, about life to enlighten.
I’ve told her to give what she wishes and when
To respect herself and be respected by men
And above all before she is settled and wed
To make sure she gets plenty of practice.
For a woman is more than a hymen
She has much more to offer the world
And if Abbott can’t see all that we wish to be
He can keep his advice to himself.
For I’ve filled my life with true value
By choosing to live it in sin
My precious gift gone, just a memory in song
But I’ve still got the box it came in!
@Tom McLaughlin – but I don’t respect my own side! Let alone my enemy!
I expect his policy package to fully nail the issue.
“For the enlarged version click here” … never made more sense. You should patent that, FD. Sure beats the heck out of those vacuum pump thingos. Well, I imagine it would. 🙂
I’m so hoping Harry will call on the Opposition Spokesphallus in the debate on our recalcitrant homeless! That his wang got winged off is quite fitting for a bloke so besotted with his boy’s bit he wraps it in lycra and shiny spandex for frequent public display. There’s no love muscle in Tony Abbott – just trouser dough.
Only a fool fails to respect their enemy.
As always, Jasper calls it like it is ie: “Howard did it for years.” Pure bliss, Mr On The Moon.
Oh ffs sake! now I have to buy yet another T-shirt 😀
Meski, that’s rude!! But very clever!
You’ve drawn it with two eyes.
Because it was so small I had to click for the engorged version to be sure.
Typical misrepresentation from Arsehat Media Management.
You are not wrong – look at how much time devoted to it on Q&A last night! Australia, your standing in it!
Come to think of it a Q7A toon would be fun.
Now I am looking forward to the coming election.
Timely dog. I’m working on the gummnt homelssness strategy right now. These ideas were almost ignored!
To quote Larry the cable guy
“I dont care who you are that’s funny”
‘hugely popular member’
‘So harden up…’
That poor eagle’s a swallow.
You can’t spell Abbott, but you are mildly amusing.
Never mind Barnaby. Someone call the RSPCA.
That poor eagle could be poisoned!!! 🙂
Pretty much the best thing you have ever done.