“Located in you know where the f**k we are, and bordered by a bunch of places that can suck it - especially you, Pennsylvania - New Jersey is one of the nation’s oldest and most historic states. So f**k you.

“Founded by a guy who could kick your state founder’s ass, and boasting some of the safest, cleanest cities in America - you hear that, jerk? - New Jersey will destroy you, just say the word.

“And while the state has in recent years come under fire from environmental groups, that doesn’t f**king matter because Jersey rules.”