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The claims against US President Barack Obama continue to get loonier. He hates white people, he isn’t American, he isn’t human, he supported infanticide as a senator, etc.
Former President Jimmy Carter identified racism as the root cause of many of these allegations. But Obama himself is more cautious about making the link. In a chat with Letterman a few days ago, he threw away the racism angle with a joke: “I was actually black before the election.”
And turns out American wingnuts were nutty before the election too. Crikey decided it was timely to put all of the wackiest theories about Obama in one place. Or could there be something to them? We report, you decide:
- Obama’s “czars” believe that animals should have lawyers to sue their owners. This would render the United States into a nation run by animals. “Animals have more rights than people,” says Donna Biscontini (Tea Partyer).
- The birther argument: there is overwhelming evidence that Obama was born in Kenya. It’s just not right to “have somebody just walk in and throw the Constitution on the ground like it’s a piece of crap,” says Henry, a Birther who has lost his job to immigrants.
- The advanced birther argument: Obama is guilty of not being born in America or why would he spend so much money on his defence? Philip J. Berg, Esquire (creator of obamacrimes.com) says that “Obama has spent over $1 million dollars defending all the lawsuits that have been filed since my lawsuit (against him) on August 21, 2008.”
- The extreme birther argument. Obama is an alien, as in from outer space.
- Obama was sworn into the Senate using a copy of the Qur’an. This is a fact, but it is referring to Congressman Keith Ellison being sworn in with the Qur’an, who really is a Muslim and was sworn in on January 4, 2007.
- Obama is a cousin to Vice-President Dick Cheney. Obama is actually eighth cousin to Cheney, according to research by the vice-president’s wife Lynne. The two men share a common ancestor in a 17th-century French immigrant.
- During Obama’s dark, mysterious years at Columbia, he was involved in domestic terrorist bombings. The mainstream media ignored the fact that Obama must have been “involved in some fashion” in domestic terrorism because he was “interested in South African divestment”.
- Obama is a philanderer. Obama had a girlfriend that his wife found out about and forced her to move to the Caribbean.
- The rumour with everything: drugs, sex, limousines and disability. Larry Sinclair alleges that Obama had cocaine-fuelled homosoxual acts with him in the back of a limousine, as reported in World Net Daily. Video evidence here (warning: bad language and pink limousines).
- Barack Obama had an underage, gay ‘affair” with a paedophile. One of Obama’s childhood mentors wrote a semi-autobiographical book that includes passages about sex with an underage girl. The conservative blogosphere collectively made the next logical leap that even the Enquirer was too skittish to make: Obama must have had sex with this man when he was nine-years-old.
- There is a direct correlation/causation between Obama’s rising poll numbers and the fall of the stock market. And there are graphs to prove it.
- Obama is a Marxist. While in high school, his mother developed an affinity with a teacher who led readings from Marx. She became an atheist or agnostic and met Barack Obama Sr. in a college Russian language class — a Russian language class, circa 1960.
Glossary:
Obot — Obama supporter.
Obamacare — the term for Obama’s voodoo healthcare system.
Beckstepper — Glenn Beck supporter.
Tea Party — a series of locally organised, nationally coordinated, anti Obama protests across the United States.
Birther — A conspiracy theorist who believes that Barack Obama is ineligible for the Presidency of the United States, based on any number of claims related to his place of birth, birth certificate, favourite birthday, or whether or not he has heard the song Africa by Toto.
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19 Comments
I just love the way they call them Tea Parties. Many of them would be right at home alongside the March Hare.
US must have more loonies per head pop than the rest of the world combined, how on Gods earth did that outfit become the most powerful nation. The others must have been taking tea at the time.
“…Tea Party — a series of locally organised, nationally coordinated, anti Obama protests across the United States…”
Are you familiar with the history of Tea Parties?
If you were you’d know these are not “anti-Obama” protests.
The protests are against the imposition of new taxes and gretar Fedreal Government involovment in the loves of the average citizen.
The colour of the skin of the man in the White house is irrelevant.
Even Obama supporters are attending the Tea Party’s
At least get the basic facts right.
For the sake of balance in your ‘argument’ why don’t you discuss the things Obama has done.
Start with his real live and long association and support of Bill Ayers and Bernadette Dohrn, Jeremiah Wright and the corruption in Chicago and Illinois politics and work back from there.
Here we go again, the peculiar one living up to its name. More raving right rants. Who gives a toss about the history of tea parties!!! These tea parties with Fox Channel involved are anti Obama, nothing to do with your Tea Parties….obviously not taking your medication again, or you are high on something. If you imagine they are only about the imposition of new taxes and gretar Fedreal Government involovment in the loves of the average citizen (what the???), you are indeed peculiar.
Emotional violence is the refuge of the neurotic.
@ RaymondChurch
Steady on there. [edited] you’re muddying the waters.
MPM is spot on with his/her assertion that tea parties are anti tax and anti Fed involvement.
You are spot on asserting FOX coverage is anti Obama. But, they simply are anti Obama, so their reporting on this story is no different from any other. Your mistake is in assigning the prejudice to the wrong agent.
Going off on a tangent, I don’t know how widely reported this was outside the US, so I’ll mention it here. It was to great amusement that the dumbass Republicans were originally calling themselves “tea-baggers,” and organised mass tea-bagging rallies.
The phrase did not mean what they thought it meant: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/04/09/rachel-maddow-ana-marie-c_n_185445.html
The advanced birther argument: Obama is guilty of not being born in America or why would he spend so much money on his defence? Philip J. Berg, Esquire (creator of obamacrimes.com) says that “Obama has spent over $1 million dollars defending all the lawsuits that have been filed since my lawsuit (against him) on August 21, 2008.”
I noticed you made no comment to refute this fact. Why don’t you want to see verification that we have a legetimate President. Are you afraid of what truth may come out ?
Who cares - the majority voted for Obama. Even if there was a vast conspiracy, build over the past 40 years by the shadowy men behind the scenes to conceal Obama’s secret foreign heritage, the fact is that he is an American citizen and has lived in the USA for the majority of his life. And the American people voted for him on that basis.
I also think it very unlikely that Obama has not heard Africa by Toto.
Ray, thanx for confirming your ignorance of history both recent and not so.
As for the ad-homs…grow up child FFS.
Ah peculiar person …dum dee do
……one lump or two?
Kirk
Who cares ? What apathy! That is the problem too many apathetic folks voted.
Who cares ? AMERICANS WHO LOVE THE CONSTITUTION AND THEIR FREEDOMS thats who cares.
Your the gift that keeps on giving, Ray.
The folks ‘round here haven’t laughed so much in YEARS.
Well done.
Yeah, the Yanks have an impressive number of wack-jobs. Even in this little rag there’s two tea-baggers lurking, waiting for an opportunity to spew their bile.
“Who cares ? AMERICANS WHO LOVE THE CONSTITUTION AND THEIR FREEDOMS thats who cares.”
It’s funny, but they didn’t seem to give a rat’s when Dubya was wiping his fundament with said constitution - http://www.rense.com/general69/paper.htm
They were also deafeningly silent when that same Republican White House was tipping money down the toilet, trashing the surplus left by the previous “Tax and Spend” Democratic administration.
Tea-baggers indeed, and I bet you them poor bastards aint doin’ much of the the danglin’ either. They’re the ones pickin the hair out of their teeth.
“The protests are against the imposition of new taxes and gretar Fedreal Government involovment in the loves of the average citizen.”
These people weren’t protesting when the President was a white man.
“…These people weren’t protesting when the President was a white man…”
Grow up.
Only a stupid racist fool would make any colour association here.
Did the last administration commit to nearly doubling the US National Debt through wanton and wasteful spending?
Barack Obama has committed more in welfare spending IN A SINGLE YEAR ($900 billion) than the Iraq war cost over the entire administration of George W. Bush ($622 billion).
But don’t let those pesky facts get in the way of your racist tirade.
And keep enlightening us with your ignorance ‘Daniel’…the laughs are great.
Hahaha.
“Barack Obama has committed more in welfare spending IN A SINGLE YEAR ($900 billion) than the Iraq war cost over the entire administration of George W. Bush ($622 billion).”
Now that (if indeed MPM’s stats are accurate) is a real crime, that. What a BAD, BAD, BAD man …
BTW, Most Peculiar Mama - do you actually know where your name comes from?
ARTIST: John Lennon
TITLE: Nobody Told Me
Everybody’s talking and no one says a word
Everybody’s making love and no one really cares
There’s matches in the bathroom just below the stairs
There’s always something happening and nothin’ going on
There’s always something cooking and nothing in the pot
They’re starving back in China, so finish what you got
Nobody told me there’d be days like these
Nobody told me there’d be days like these
Nobody told me there’d be days like these
Strange days indeed, strange days indeed
Everybody’s runnin’ and no one makes a move
Well everybody’s a winner and nothing left to lose
There’s a little yellow idol to the north of Katmandu
Everybody’s flying and no one leaves the ground
Well everybody’s crying and no one makes a sound
There’s a place for us in movies, you just gotta lay around
… most peculiar mama
Everybody’s smoking and no one’s getting high
Everybody’s flying and never touch the sky
There’s UFO’s over in New York and I ain’t too surprised
… most peculiar mama, whoa