Crikey

“By killing the king, Macbeth violates nature.” Discuss.

By Montana Smith:

Will Shakespeare Bard Of Avon wrote many very famous tradgidies the most famous (alltho opinion is provided on this) of such like being Macbeth was a loyal thane which is a Scotland word for lord and his wife was determined he was king in fact she was a bitch. We know this from the very famous and tradgic quote when she says for the Dark Forces to make her unsexy and pour stuff into her ear probably Evil. ‘Come, come, ye spirits, make me unsexy and I will bash out the brains of a baby.’ Yuk. Macbeth thane of Cowdor should no better than this but in fact he is whipped it being one of the enigmas of the very famous tradgity of the Bard Of Avon. You shouldn’t kill a king – no way – and you shouldn’t kill a guest this is sacred and the universe does not like it alot. This can be proved in the very famous lines of the bearded ladies on the heath (naked in the film which was gross) when they say ‘bubble, bubble, boil and bubble’ and ‘fair is fowl ect.’ It is not natural what Macbeth does and Lady M she really wears the pants Macbeth has a conscious in fact he is a wuss. There is stuff about horses eating other horses which is wrong cos they eat hey and things not horses. Macbeth also violets nature when he kills Banquo (he really doesn’t but gets these two murderers to do it so he does not strictly have blood on his hands unlike Lady M who can’t get it out dam spot the murderers are incontinent anyway and the boy (Flea I think) excapes.) There are much more unnatural acts who ever heard of a forest walking to a castle it doesn’t happen but it did because Macbeth is unnatural. Whoever heard of a man unborn of womans but there is Macfudd who had a C-section and because he had a cesar he cut of Macbeth’s head (very crap fx in the film but it is old and they did not have the techno so you cannot blame the director or the actors who had to do it). So in conclusion it is clear that you cannot kill a king it is not write in fact it is wrong. As the Bard Of Avon himself says, he says, ‘all swell that end swell’.

Montana, it is clear that you have been paying some sort of attention to the reading of the play in class during those times I confiscated your mobile phone so we must be grateful for small achievements.

In places you show the first glimmerings of insight into the text even if we have some way to go. The light of understanding is still but dim. There are some problems in the spelling department. Understatement. The word is ‘tragedy’ which in the current instance acquires a tragic resonance all its own.

And I do believe I said I would leap from a very high place if I ever again saw the construction ‘alot’. IT IS TWO WORDS.

Did we not also agree that ‘whipped’ is both coarse slang and an anachronism? Please, please do not use that expression in the end of year exam. I couldn’t bear the shame.

Finally, you need to discover the usefulness of the full stop. At present your writing runs on like – well let’s just say it needs more syntactical roughage. I am now half way through a bottle of red so I’ll finish there as I fully intend to polish off the other half and might even make a night of it with greasies and chocolate and other crap OMG my full stops have deserted me it’s catching. HELP.