Making a wish can spoil a child … with love
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They gave us $2000 for one week at the Gold Coast. I laughed at first. Suggested we save by staying in the resort and banking a grand for our reno. As it turned out they were right on the money. We needed every cent, right to the last $6 coffee. The Gold Coast is paradise, especially for families. The funny thing though about paradises is you want to get out in them. Staying indoors isn’t an option, even at a five-star resort one block from the beach. Our boys wanted action, novelty, games and all manner of unrealistic adventures. So you go out. You buy things. And paradise comes with paradise price tags. Pastas start at $25. The lures to spend are everywhere. We could have tightened the belt. But hell we’d been squeezing ourselves all year during the treatment. If there’s just one time to be extravagant, this was it. Batman masks, giant rubber dinosaur balloons, $15 kids meals. Not always immediately appreciated either. So awash in thrills, the boys often couldn’t wait to finish one before starting on the next. At Wiggles World (the much-anticipated “wish” itself) our seven-year-old asked “And where’s Murray? Can I play on Murray’s guitar?” After the Batman Spacewings ride it’s. “Can I go on The Claw now?” But in all this scrambling for the next kick, the little diva demands and let-downs of failed supplementary wishes, you knew deep down that they were all inseparable parts of a wish coming true, the best thing our boys had ever experienced, and even as they flagged into our laps around sunset, ratty as hell, they wouldn’t have had it any other way. Our local and national Make A Wish volunteers were invaluable in unexpected ways. Contacting us almost daily, we felt like we had an anchor in an unfamiliar place. Far from encouraging decadence, they had plenty of travel tips and hometown knowledge that saved us plenty. Our boys are spoiled — with love. But they are no more materialistic than any other kid. They indulged on the Gold Coast but there were times last year when the biggest thrill for our elder son was coming home from hospital for his birthday. Or having his teddy with him when he “went under” for his Catscan. Our son can be difficult. Aside from mild autism and his recent bout of cancer, he has both his father’s Russian fire and mother’s German exactness. We tear our hair out at some of his left-field whims. But that’s just him. It’s what we take him for. We love him exactly for it and not in spite of it. Is there anything more typical of kids than their habit of indulging in unrealizable dreams? Best of all — he’s hilarious. He’s funnier than my favourite comedy show — The Chaser. Once at a hot dog stand he asked if people ate hot cats. Another time he asked if he could meet the Steve Miller Band and watch YouTube with them. He taps the Monty Python funny-bone. He hits it because he’s absurd. And most of all he’s original. I like original. It’s what made The Chaser so good. Their APEC motorcade sketch is one of the classics. Brilliant on many levels, breaching boundaries in both senses. Sacred cows flying everywhere, absurdity doing a tango with serious political norms, and calculated daring. Whatever happened to that Chaser? The “Make a Realistic Wish” skit fell flat on all measures. Now I’m not going to give you outrage. The sketch was incredibly nasty but I’m not out for censorship, axing or the like. I’m out to make a judgement call here with my words. Two things concern me: firstly, people’s creative output can be finite if they don’t reinvent themselves; secondly, successful things often get stuck in their own bubble and founder. My muso brother has an “espresso” theory about bands: they’re like measures of ground coffee. You can pass any number of water shots through the machine, but the espressos get weaker and weaker. Comedy is the same. How many times have we seen a comedian pump out the same joke too often? (The Wedge anyone?) Eventually it wears thin and they resort to shock value to get the same impact. This is sadly where I feel The Chaser is at. Tall poppies are not enough, so they blithely try the smaller and weaker ones, rather than tap a new vein of humour. And bubbles — we all have them: our families, jobs, hobbies and circles of friends. But mostly we can step outside these and get perspective. The comedian’s bubble is their own art — trawling the world around us for laughs, hanging around other comedians doing the same, trying desperate measures when fodder is scarce. Not a bad lifestyle. But the danger is you lose sight of real people, and real life values where you got your laughs from in the first place. You lose sight of “the line” and think everything’s fair game. The Chaser, both in the skit and subsequent apology, betrayed with their comfortable uber-comedian smirks a kind of undergraduate bubble: above all ordinary idiotic things, smarter than thou, and disturbed by nothing disturbing or depressing or just plain ordinary, like cancer. Most of all they seem blind to a blatant irony: while they mock people chasing happiness as an end (and sometimes being extravagant in doing so) they’re actually mocking the very essence of comedy. The Chaser guys make millions doing it, even going to the US to make their points. Make A Wish do the same thing, but off a much lower base. They are trying to lift the spirits of children with life-threatening illnesses, and their families. These children have often experienced more about pain, fear and ugliness than most adults, let alone children, should have to endure. While wishes may not be strictly budgetable or rational, the point is that the children get back even some of the joy, fun, and thrills that childhood is about. The very same feeling we adults experience when laughing at a good joke. |
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18 Comments
Julian Zytnik was my High School English teacher at Blackfriars. Wow what a blast from the past! If you read this Mr Zytnik I’m sorry to hear about your son, I always enjoyed your classes (I still remember Fire In The Stone).
Oh and by the way I think you’re spot on about The Chaser. Shock value simply for shock value does little to your credibility. They’ve pushed the boundaries a few times in the past but this was too much.
All the best, Adam Barker.
I’m thinking that whilst this was bad publicity for Chaser, it was good publicity for Make a Wish Foundation, and by extension, the kids it supports. I’d imagine they would get increased levels of donations because of this. (sign me an existing & continuing contributor)
Let me preface my remarks by saying that firstly, I haven’t seen the offending sketch and secondly that Make a wish seems to be an estimable charity.
That said, if I get one more phone call asking me to support yet another circus for one bunch or another of sick or underprivileged children, I’ll scream.
One mob isn’t a registered charity, so sends you a receipt for advertising. Funny thing is, unless you donate over a certain amount, you don’t get a mention.
Another one is linked with a service organisation. Looking at the fine print on the receipt, I found that the circus outing gets 10% of the donation.
The so-called charitable sector well deserves having the p_ss taken out of it. The Chaser just needs to target it better.
Flight of the Conchords had the *koff* balls to call it a day after two good seasons.
Chaser, Mr Zytnik is right to the point - it’s time you guys moved on.
This was just appalling.
I very much appreciate this honest and personal reflection and agree that it is mean and tasteless going after soft targets. it seems there’s a compulsion to offend and be outrageous but why pick on people who need all the hope and dignity that they can hang on to.
The way you write about cancer here is powerful and authentic, Julian.
You are so right that all the fear and suffering, the hopes for joy and escape are just so ‘ordinary’ in the end.
Cancer is an extreme view on the human comedy we all so often sleepwalk through. Good on you for sharing your experience so honestly, wakefully and with humor.
Normally I’m a bit wary of setting limits on subjects for comedy or comment generally. But I just reached mine. The words “complete pricks” leap to mind for the Chaser clowns.
Hi Adam
Thanks for your comments. You would in fact be talking about my Dad, Bill Zytnik. He just retired at Blacks after 23 years’ service. We’re very close, and he’s been highly involved in my son’s battles. I’ll pass on your regards.
Julian
I worked in a public library where The Chaser staged one of their skits. I thought they were pigs then. I have seen nothing since to change my mind.
I actually didn’t see the Make a Wish skit until it got replayed on ACA because I tuned in either too late or too early: it was the nasty laugh-about-Holocaust-films skit that made me turn off. After watching most of that with increasing discomfort, I started to wonder what actually motivates The Chaser. Do they have any moral or intellectual basis at all?
You see, the really great satirists, from Jonathan Swift to Jon Stewart, have a rock-steady ethical basis to work from. Satire is born in anger, and that anger has to be righteous, or else the satire becomes its evil twin, schadenfreude.
Bullies do it all the time. Soft targets get them all juiced up and it becomes a counterfeit for true creativity.
And that’s why The Chaser isn’t funny any more. Not unless you’re a bully too.
Julian thank you for sharing your story so eloquently.
I too don’t want to see the Chaser go down the gurgler .. they get it right more often than not, and are a bright and vital spot in a world of dross tv.
I hope the team is doing some real reflection on this appalling screw-up, and don’t just try to brazen it through by resorting to cheap devices like the Andrew Hansen ‘outraged viewer’ character. I think your observation on the ‘bubble’ is accurate.
I wish the Chasers luck in getting over this, as I’m aware that invidually they are decent guys - they regularly pop up at benefit events around Sydney, eg school trivia.
All the best to your son, and family.
The irony is that one of these clowns may well suffer the sentence of cancer one day.
Being a clever smartass doesn’t guarantee immunity.
If Tim Blair says they are profoundly bad in the Sydney Daily Telegraph today then they can’t be 100% bad. TB is so biased he refuses to tie his left shoe lace.
I’m not sure about all this moral panic either from politicians including PM Rudd. It’s a Seinfeld kind of activity really isn’t it producing a comedy show? Fact is I have never watched their show.
But I get the feeling there are far more important things to get upset about. I am quite willing to believe it stank, but then millions of kids die in poverty with not a hint of western level of treatment or respite or compassion of the particular Foundation.
Case in point - apparently ethicist Peter Singer has calculated that for every $200 of disposable income that money could lift a person out of poverty in a poor country for the rest of their life. Just like the book Brave New World this is the truth of modern times of westerners living like kings and poor folks living short brutal lives.
Any city street in Australia you will see over engineered excessively expensive modern cars. And every $200 component is another dead child - for real. Dead children are massed in every city street in ethical terms - you just can’t see them, or refuse to see them.
That’s the aspect of society I find deeply offensive. Call it a Gandhi thing.
Let’s not forget that the skit had a point…and a good one.
It reminds us that spoiling a dying kid is still just spoiling a kid.
And there is no excuse ever for giving a kid extravagant rubbish.
All children have wishes, and they are usually quite profound, wonderful, and relationship oriented. But making a big fuss because a child is dying is more to do with an adults warped sense of inadequacy than giving the child their last experience of joy. That is done by treating them with both ordinary and superb care and respect right to their dying day.
I don’t think that Dying children is that EFFING funny at all. The Chaser’s ‘style’ of comedy is even less funny than a Dying child. They produce their CRAP with Public Money and they should be pulled off the Air RIGHT NOW. That skit was appalling to say the least. NOT SMART & NOT FUNNY. These guys could not a get a gig anywhere else… Their supposed ‘apology’ was so SMUG as well.. Scott should Ax the show NOW.
Beautifully written…amen.
Years ago some fresh faced comics burst onto our ABC screens to savage political tall poppies~no one knew of them ~which made their ‘stunts’ all the more amusing. Oh how times have changed.
Lads, you’re just not funny any more and are in danger of turning into a caricature of everything you seemed to once despise. And your desperation is showing…
All the best to you and your family Julian.
The point about our thoughtless affluence in the face of global child poverty is well taken as long as it does not reduce our compassion for ANY child in need. Anyone, in any society, going through the death of a beloved, needs support.
Giving a dying child a treat is not frivolous. It shows that we understand the need for a family to have some good memories before the axe falls and the child dies.
And of course, all you people dissing Make A Wish: you give generously to Third World kids charities don’t you?
I didn’t think so.
Well said, succinct and to the point. Accurate.